Rejection Jokes / Recent Jokes
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The Mr. Right Rejection Letter Form
Dear [____rejectee's name here_____],
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:
[Check all those that apply]
___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.
___ Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms more...
Feel Free to Cut and PasteThe Mr. Right Rejection Letter FormDear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:[Check all those that apply]___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.___ Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms bythetruckload" indicates that you may be more...
TOP TEN REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY WOMEN (and what they actually mean):
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo geek in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference in our ages
(I don't want to do my DAD.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You ugly dork.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend.
(I prefer my male cat and 1/2 gallon Ben & Jerry's ice cream.)
5. I don't date men where I work.
(I wouldn't date you if you're in the same *solar system*, much less the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm celibate.
(I've sworn off the likes of you or I'd rather be gang raped by midgets or I'd rather drink more...
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean...)10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance." )9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.)8. I'm not attracted to you in' that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)6. I've got a boyfriend (who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's). 5. I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same' solar system', much less the same building.)4. It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.) 3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.) 2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.). .. and the number 1 rejection line given more...
10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that banjo player in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a silent difference in our ages. (I don't want to date my Dad.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in' that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys.)
6. I've got a boyfriend. (I prefer the company of my cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.)
5. I don't date men where I work. (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same' solar system,' much less the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me. (It's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)
And the Number One rejection line given by women:
1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell more...
Baxter ConnersVice PresidentCompany 203203 Wall St. New York, NY 10015Dear Mr. Conners, Thank you for your letter of February 17th. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your bank. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite Company 203's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then. Sincerely, XXXXXXXX
sung to the tune of The Rainbow Connection by Kermit Frog Why are there so many, users of Windows?
Don't people have any pride?
Windows is useless, and designed by morons,
and Windows had got DOS inside.
But some don't care and continue to use it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll see it, the Windows rejection,
the users, and Bill Gates, and me.
Who said that every bug, would be found but left there?
It seems so strange and bizarre.
Microsoft thought of that, and millions accept it,
look what it's done, so far.
What's so amazing are all the delays in
the replacement for Windows 3.
Someday we'll see it, the Windows rejection,
the users, and Bill Gates, and me.
All of us under its spell,
we know that it's utterly tragic...
Have you been not saving, and then torn your hair out,
because of a G. P. fault?
Is this the error, that occurs most more...