Rejection Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear Hiring Manager,

Thank you for your letter concerning my application for employment. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impos- sible for me to accept all refusals. Despite your com- pany's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position in your department next week. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,

10. I think of you as a brother... (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")

9. There's a slight difference in our ages... (I don't want to do my dad)

8. I'm not attracted to you in' that' way... (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)

7. My life is too complicated right now... (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

6. I've got a boyfriend... (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's)..

5. I don't date men where I work... (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same' solar system', much less the same building.)

4. It's not you, it's me... (It's you.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career... (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

2. I'm celibate... (I've sworn off only the men like you.)
and the number 1 rejection line more...

Top 10 rejection lines given by Men (and what they actually mean...)

10. I think of you as a sister.
(You're ugly.)

9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You're ugly.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in' that' way.
(You're ugly.)

7. My life is too complicated right now.
(You're ugly.)

6. I've got a girlfriend.
(You're ugly.)

5. I don't date women where I work.)
(You're ugly.)

4. It's not you, it's me.
(You're ugly.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(You're ugly.)

2. I'm celibate.
(You're ugly.)

1. Let's be friends.
(You're sinfully ugly.)

Whats the ultimate rejection? When youre masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women
(and what they actually mean)
(Thanks to Oneill for sending it to me)
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(I don't want to do my dad.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in' that' way.
(You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone
calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend.
(I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.)
5. I don't date men where I work.
(I wouldn't date you if you were in the same' solar system', much less the
same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than more...

Rejection Letter RejectEver wonder what to do when those rejection letters start pilingup? Well here's a suggestion:- - - - - - - - - - - - - Cut Here - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[Date Today]Dear Mr. Kennelly:Thank you for your letter of April 17. After carefulconsideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to acceptyour refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year Ihave been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually largenumber of rejection letters. With such a varied and promisingfield of candidates it is impossible for me to accept allrefusals.Despite Acme Inc.'s outstanding qualifications and previousexperience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejectiondoes not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I willinitiate employment with your firm immediately followinggraduation. I look forward to seeing you then.Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.Sincerely, [Your name here]

Sung to the tune of The Rainbow Connection by Kermit FrogWhy are there so many, users of Windows?
Don`t people have any pride?
Windows is useless, and designed by morons,
and Windows had got DOS inside.
But some don`t care and continue to use it.
I know they`re wrong, wait and see.
Someday we`ll see it, the Windows rejection,
the users, and Bill Gates, and me.

Who said that every bug, would be found but left there?
It seems so strange and bizarre.
Microsoft thought of that, and millions accept it,
look what it`s done, so far.

What`s so amazing are all the delays in
the replacement for Windows 3.
Someday we`ll see it, the Windows rejection,
the users, and Bill Gates, and me.

All of us under its spell,
we know that it`s utterly tragic...

Have you been not saving, and then torn your hair out,
because of a G. P. fault?
Is this the error, that occurs most more...