Remover Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was a man who woke up one morning with a red ring around his member. Astonished he panicked and hurried to the emergency room.
The Doctor looked at it and gave the man some lotion to rub on it twice a day, if no results come back tomorrow. This went on for three days when a new nurse happened to be in the same ER. She asked if she could suggest something. The Dr. at his wit's end because he wasn't able to cure the problem, agreed to let the nurse try her hand.
The nurse gave the man a smelly lotion and said rub it very gently on his member before he when to bed. The man went home and followed her instructions.
The very next day came back happy as a lark! He found the nurse and Doctor and thanked them for all they're help.
As the man left, the Dr. turned to the nurse and asked what was the miracle lotion?
The nurse smiled and replied, "Lip stick remover."
A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof so he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers". He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. "What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks. "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat." "When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog!"
My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she
took it to
the Veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in
its ears so he
cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine.The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she
wanted to keep
this from reoccurring she should go to the store and
get some "Nair"
hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a
month.The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair"
hair remover. At
the register the druggist tells her: "If you're going
to use this
under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days."The lady says: "I'm not using it under my arms."The druggist says: "If you're using it on your legs
don't shave for a
couple of days."The lady says: "I'm not using it on my legs either; if
you must know,
I'm! using it on my schnauzer."The druggist says: "Stay off your bicycle for a week."
The following are actual products in Japan that have awful English mistranslations: "Discover Japanese People Alive in their Festivals!" (Japan Travel Bureau travel guide) Cookie Face (cosmetics) Salad Girl (more cosmetics) Skin clock for those wishing to become a dog (calendar) Naive Lady (toilet paper) The Goo (soup) Pork with fresh garbage (cabbage) Specialist in Deceased Children (diseased) Finest Moldy Cheese Liver Putty (Japanese SPAM) My Fanny Toilet Paper My Pee Diapers Nail Remover (nail polish remover) Pocari Sweat (beverage)