Reporter Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once Bush And Vajpayee Were In A Beer Bar And They Were Drinking Their Beers. At That Time A Reporter Came Upto Them and asked "So Mr. Bush And Vajpayee What Are You Planning?

Vajpayee Says" We Are Planning A Third World War In Which We Will Kill 14 Million Pakistanis And A Cycle Repair Man.

The Reporter Asks" That's Alright, But Why Do You Want To Kill A Cycle Repair man?

Vajpayee Saya To Bush "See I Told You No One Will Worry About The 14 Million Pakistanis.

The pirate Red Beard was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who
was looking for juicy stories of excitement and derring-do. He told Red,
"I'm sure my readers would love to hear the tale behind your pegleg."
"Well, I was thrown from the ship during gale force winds, and before me
mate could throw me a line, a shark bit me leg clean off."
The interviewer was sort of disappointed. "What about the hook at the
end of your right arm?"
"I lost it in a sword fight with the Captain of the Guard."
Again the reporter was disappointed. "Certainly there's an exciting
story about the patch on your eye?"
"One day, I was out on deck, and a bird flew over and crapped in me eye."
The reporter was amazed. "That's why you wear a patch?"
"Well, I'd only had me hook a couple of days."

Heard April 10 on the Rush Limbaugh show:
God decided He was finally fed up with the human race and decided to end
it for good. He called up a reporter at the New York Times to tell him
the news: The world would end the day after tomorrow.
The reporter tried to talk God out of it, but God was firm and wouldn't
be swayed. The reporter then asked if he had an exclusive. God said that
He was going to call three other newspapers.
Headlines the next day:
The New York Times:
"God says world to end tomorrow; story and analysis on page B11."
The Wall Street Journal:
"God says world to end tomorrow; market to close early"
USA Today:
"IT'S OVER!"
The Washington Post:
"God says world to end tomorrow; women and minorities hardest hit."

A man was in New York`s central park, when a dog went wild and attacked a young boy.
The man was able to grab the dog by the neck, pulling it off the boy and choking it to death. A reporter for the NY Times comes to interview him, congratulating him on his act of heroism.
He suggests the headline: "New Yorker saves the life of a young boy!";
But, the man told him; I`m not from NY.
Ok, then how about: "American hero saves the day."
But, the man told him “I`m not American”.
Then, where are you from? Asked the reporter.
I`m from Pakistan, the man answered.
The next day the headlines read: "MUSLIM FUNDAMENTALIST STRANGLES DOG IN CENTRAL PARK. FBI INVESTIGATING POSSIBLE LINKS TO AL QAEDA"...

A female TV reporter arranged for an interview with a farmer, seeking
the main cause of Mad Cow disease.

The Lady: "Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information on the
possible source of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this
disease?"

The Farmer stared at the reporter and said: "Do you know that a bull
mounts a cow only once a year?"

The lady reporter (obviously embarrassed):" Well, sir, that's a new
piece of information, but what's the relation between this phenomenon
and Mad Cow disease?"

The Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"

The reporter: "Sir, this is really valuable information, but what
about getting to the point?"

The Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was
playing with your tits twice a day and only
screwing you once a year, wouldn't you more...

The chieftain of a remote village flew to the United States to visit the president. When he arrived at the airport, a host of newsmen and television cameramen met him. One of the reporters asked the chief if he had a comfortable flight. The chief made a series of weird noises - "screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z" - and then added in perfect English, "Yes, I had a very nice flight." Another reporter asked, "Chief, do you plan to visit the Washington Monument while you're in the area?" The chief made the same noises -"screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z" - and then said, "Yes, and I also plan to visit the White House and the Capitol Building." "Where did you learn to speak such flawless English?" asked the next reporter. The chief replied, "Screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z - from the shortwave radio."

An old man was relaxing at his hundredth birthday party when a reporter went up to him. "Sir, what is the secret of your long life?"

The man considered this for a moment, then replied, "Every day at 9 PM I have a glass of port. Good for the heart I've heard."

The reporter replied, "That's ALL?"

The man smiled, "That, and canceling my voyage on the Titanic."