Reporters Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Safe Bet, Bush Reassures Nation

In a bold move to privatize Social Security, President George W. Bush today put all of the program's funds under the control of former Education Secretary William Bennett, urging Mr. Bennett to "work your magic" on the nation's nest egg.

Recognizing that many retirees are nervous about the privatization of America's retirement system, Mr. Bush reassured them today, stating flatly, "Bill Bennett is a safe bet."

"I have known Bill Bennett for many years," Mr. Bush told reporters. "This is a man who knows when to hold' em and knows when to fold' em."

A beaming Mr. Bennett stood at Mr. Bush's side, the former Education Secretary wearing what he later called "my lucky hat."

He spoke briefly with reporters before boarding a plane for the Venetian casino in Las Vegas, where he said he would begin to implement his "can't lose" investment plan for more...

Bill Clinton decided to teach' Laloo English, so he invited him over to the US. Laloo arrives
in full grandeur. Bill announces to the nation that they should not be disturbed during the
tution inside the White house, they are locked up in a room, and Bill starts teaching Laloo
English. Days pass by and weeks pass by, but there is no sign of them coming out.
The whole country and its economy has come to a standstill, and press, news reporters from all
over the world are waiting outside eagerly to find the outcome. At last one day, the door opens,
and out comes Laloo -beaming his resplendant white smile, looking cool and unruffled. However,
Bill looks totally dazed, his clothes are torn, his hair is completely ruffled, and he has
scratch marks all over his face.

Theshocked reporters ask Bill, "What happened Mr. Clinton? "
Bill replies: "Ee babua hamar kuch bhi naahi sunat hai! "

Bill Clinton decided to' teach' Laloo English, so he invited him over to the US. Laloo arrives in full grandeur.
Bill announces to the nation that they should not be disturbed during the tuition. Inside the White House, they are locked up in a room, and Bill starts teaching Laloo English.
Days pass by and weeks pass by, but there is no sign of them coming out. The whole country and its economy have come to a standstill, and press, news reporters from all over the world are waiting outside eagerly to find the outcome.
At last one day, the door opens, and out comes Laloo - beaming his resplendent white smile, looking cool and unruffled.
However, Bill looks totally dazed, his clothes are torn, his hair is completely ruffled, and he has scratch marks all over his face.
The shocked reporters ask Bill, "What happened Mr. Clinton?"
Bill replies: "Ee babua hamar kuch bhi naahi sunat hai! "

Well Here's another one. This happened in Kandy during the days when Mr. U-Ravana
is the caretaker of the Tooth.
Foriegn reporters were swarming the capital and Kandy too to cover the Non-Aligned
Conference. There was a Russian among them and he was visiting the Temple of Tooth
in Kandy with the other foreign reporters. Our U-ravana always willing to entertain the
vistors invited the group to have a good time at the Coffe Lounge in the famous Qeen's
Hotel.
They all sat in a big round table, and started to order the drinks first. The Russian was next
to a Cuban reporter and U-Ravana was at the oppsite side of the Russian. Not knowing
what to order the Russian turned to the Cuban who ordered a Fanta. U-Ravana ordered a
Coke. After the drinks arrived, the Russian sipped his Fanta before anybody else even touched
theirs. Ofcourse, this is the first time he ever tatsted any Fanta. Really satisfied of the drink he
sniffed the more...

On the first day of Christmas my CNN Anchor showed to me
A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 4th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
4 Teleprompters;
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 5th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
5 Camera Men.....
4 Teleprompters;
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 6th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
6 Field Producers;
5 Camera Men.....
4 Teleprompters;
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 7th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
7 Perky Reporters;
6 Field more...