Rescue Jokes / Recent Jokes

An airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction, and went down. A few weeks later, the Pepsi Company sent a rescue plane. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals.
They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.
The Chief said, "You betcha!"
When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi."
The Rescue crew were shocked. One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?"
The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi."
Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?"
The Chief replied, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi."
After looking totally perplexed for a minute, a third asked, "Did you...you know...eat, their...'things'?"
The chief says, "No."
"No?" asked the rescuer.
"No," replied the Chief, more...

There was an airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction and went down. A few weeks later, PepsiCo sent a rescue plane out to look for the lost plane. They found the wreckage but were unable to locate the crew. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief says, "Yeah". When asked where the crew was the Chief replied, "We ate the crew and drank the Pepsi." The Rescue crew was shocked. One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs and we drank the Pepsi." Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi". After looking totally perplexed for a minute a third added, "Did you...you know...eat their....things"?? The chief says, "No." "No?" asked the rescuers. more...

There was a cargo shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa.It suddenly had a malfunction, and crashed in the jungle.A few days later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane to search for the plane and crew.They found the wreckage, but were not able to locate the crew.They searched the area and met with a tribe of cannibals.They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.The Chief nods and simply says, "Yes...seen plane crash".When asked where the crew was, the Cheif replyed, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi!"The Rescue crew was shocked. Another man asked, "Did you eat their legs?"The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi!"Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?"The Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Peps!"Finally, another rescuer had to ask, "Did you..you know...eat their...things?"The cheif says, "NO, you idoit!"... even cannibals more...

Toward the end of their senior year in high school, students were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim, Rescue Anne, to practice.
Rescue Anne was legless to allow for storage in a carrying case.
The class went off in groups to practice. As instructed, one of the students gently shook the doll and asked, "Are you all right?" He then put his ear over the mannequin's mouth to listen for breathing.
Suddenly, the student turned to the instructor and exclaimed, "She says she can't feel her legs!"

As told by Peter Ludwig of Austria at the National Cave Rescue Commission
Cave Rescue Training Seminar:
How do you tell an Optimist from a Pessimist?
An optimist feels that in 20 years a pair of shoes will cost only 100 marks.
A pessimist feels that in 20 years a pair of shoes will cost only 100 rubles.

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Crashing Supermodels
Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, and Cindy Crawford are flying to a super models conference in Paris, when the captain of the plane announces: "We have just lost power to the engines and are going to make an emergency crash landing - assume the brace position immediately!"
Immediately the three models start preparing for the worst. Claudia pulls out lipstick and make-up and starts fixing her face.
Bewildered, Naomi and Cindy ask: "What in the hell are you doing fixing your make-up when we are about to freaking crash!"
Claudia responds: I know for a fact the rescue workers will search for, and save first, the ones who have the best looking faces- which is why I am putting on my make-up."
Cindy more...

21 Reasons Why Star Wars Is Better Than Titanic"
1. The Titanic is big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.
2. Yoda could use the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.
3. Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material; Rose is just marriage bait.
4. Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.
5. When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge can't say, "Look at the size of that thing!" and really mean it.
6. It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.
7. Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic characters.
Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral.
8. Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral manages NOT to lose his ship.
9. We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he strangles people and more...