Research Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three British educational institutions were commissioned by the government to discover why the human penis is the shaped the way it is. Oxford University allocated a budget of
One day a man walked into the main library of a major research university. He stopped at the reference desk and asked the librarian if she had any current books about economics and the economy.
She answered that she did, and led the man to the reference shelves where the economics and economy books were.
To the surprise of both the librarian and the man all of the books were off the shelf being used.
"That's OK," the man said. "I'll just go to another library. You see, I'm a very busy man, and I set this weekend aside for studying economics and the economy."
The librarian said she understood and gave the man directions to the nearest research library. But her interest piqued, she asked: "Why are you so urgent to study economics and the economy?"
The man replied: "I'm an economist. I've been teaching at this university for the past ten years. I'm attending a business meeting on Monday, and I figure the economy has changed in more...
A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called the lawyer up.
“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $400, 000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way? ”
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income? ”
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um…no. ”
“–or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair? ”
The stricken United Way rep began to stuttered an apology but was interrupted,
“–or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident, ” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her broke with three children?! ”
The humiliated United Way more...
The difficulty with a research grant is that if you solve the problem, you're out of a job.
Some people have died in strange ways...here are a few.
Attila the Hun:
One of the most notorious villains in history, Attila's army had conquered all of Asia by 450 AD-from Mongolia to the edge of the Russian Empire-by destroying villages and pillaging the countryside.
How he died: He got a nosebleed on his wedding night
In 453 AD, Attila married a young girl named Ildico. Despite his reputation for ferocity on the battlefield, he tended to eat and drink lightly during large banquets. On his wedding night, however, he really cut loose, gorging himself on food and drink. Sometime during the night he suffered a nosebleed, but was too drunk to notice. He drowned in his own blood and was found dead the next morning.
Tycho Brahe:
An important Danish astronomer of the 16th century. His ground breaking research allowed Sir Isaac Newton to come up with the theory of gravity.
How he died: Didn't get to the bathroom in time
In the 16th century, it was considered more...
The following information was gained through much arduous research involving men and women from all backgrounds and walks of life. It consists of the most frequently asked questions of women (i.e. relationships, sex and life in general). All women who read this are encouraged to use the wisdom contained therein to change their behavior in accordance with the truths established below.
Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not as emotionally confused as women. It's a proven fact.
Q: Should I have sex on the first date?
A: YES. Before if possible.
Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them more...