Restaurant Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.
"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere-it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."
"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"

On a California freeway:
Fine for Littering
In the window of an Atlanta clothing store:
Sid's Pants is Open
On the wall of a British Columbia cleaning service:
Able to Do the Worst Possible Job
In a New York jewelry store:
Genuine Faux Pearls
In a Kansas City oculist's office:
Broken lenses duplicated here
In a Boston fast-food parking lot:
Parking for Drive-Through Customers Only
Billboard on Florida highway:
If You Can't Read, We Can Help
On the Triborough Bridge in New York:
In Event of Air Attack Drive Off Bridge
On a Lockhart, Texas, gas station and minimart:
We're out of Rolaids, but we've got gas.
At the basketball court in a Gastonton, North Carolina, YMCA:
Anyone caught hanging from the rim will be suspended
On a Rapid City store:
Give That Bride a Good Case of Worms or Other Fine Bait
On the door of an Ellsworth, Maine, restaurant:
The Indian Trading Post will be closed for Yom more...

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant."I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere-it's so sanitary that the whole place shines." "Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"

Waiter: You've Come To Our Restaurant First Time And So We Are Very Privileged To See You! Customer: But, How Did You Know That
I''ve Come Here The First Time? Waiter: Quite Simple, Those Who Come To Our Restaurant First Time He Never Comes Again!

The waiter at the diner came over and ask« his customer, "And how did you find the steak?|
"Easy," snarled the patron. "I shoved a spoon| ful of potatoes to the side, and there it was!"

Then there's the chef who cooks carrots and peas in the same pot. He was shut down by the health department.

The inexperienced waiter came over, and Mr. James said, "I want chicken smothered in gravy. ™]
"I'm sorry," the waiter replied, "but if you want it slaughtered in so unmerciful a manner, you'll have to do it yourself."