Restroom Jokes / Recent Jokes

A dog walks into a bar and instead of rapping says to the bar tender "Hey, Dog! How about a beer" The dog drinks it and goes to the restroom. In the restroom he meets other dogs. All dogs Rap, and cuss that's how you know a DOG.

>>To All Men Traveling the Airways
>>
>>The Gentleman had a serious problem. He had made several attempts
>>to get into the men's restroom, but found it to be occupied. The
stewardess
>>noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and with a look
>>of pain and anxiety on his face.
>>
>>"Sir", she said, "The ladies restroom is unoccupied. You may use it
>>if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall." He was
>>about to pop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her
>>terms.
>>
>>The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling,
>>he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white
>>buttons were identified by the letters: "WW", "WA", and "PP", and
>>there was one red button labeled "ATR".
>>
>>Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn't just sit
>>there and more...

The Restroom Door Said "Gentlemen", so I just stepped inside
I took two steps and realized I'd been taken for a ride
I heard high voices, turned, and found the place was occupied
by two old nuns, three old ladies, and a nurse -- what could be worse?
Two old nuns, three old ladies, and a nurse!
The Restroom Door Said "Gentlemen", it must've been a gag
'cause when I walked right in there, I ran into some old hag
She sprayed me with a can of mace and slapped me with her bag
I could tell this just wouldn't be my day, what can I say?
This just wasn't turning out to be my day!
The Restroom Door Said "Gentlemen", and I would like to find
that crummy little creep who had the nerve to switch the signs
'cause I've got two black eyes and one high heel up my behind
Now I'll never sit with comfort and joy -- boy o boy!
No, I'll never sit with comfort and joy!

In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it -- "THINK!"The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read -- "THOAP!"

A male pastor entered a neighborhood pub to use the restroom. The place was hopping with music and dancing, until people noticed him.
As the room quieted down he approached the bartender and asked, "May I use the restroom, please?"
"I really don't think that's a good idea," the bartender replied.
"Why not?" the pastor asked. "I really need to use a restroom!"
"Well, I really don't think you should," insisted the bartender. "There's a statue of a naked woman in there and she's only covered by a fig leaf."
"Nonsense," said the pastor, "I'll look the other way!"
So, the bartender showed the clergyman the door at the top of the stairs and he proceeded to the restroom.
After a few minutes he came back out and the place was hopping with music and dancing again. He went to the bartender and said, "Excuse me, sir, but I don't understand. When I first came in here the place was more...

In Singapore, more than 50 toilet cleaners will be promoted to "restroom specialist" upon completing a 64 hour course taught by Japanese experts in the latest toilet technology, The Straits Times reported.
I sat here going over about 50 potential jokes regarding the title change, or spending 64 hours in a bathroom, or the term "latest toilet technology"- instead I choose to let you post punchlines in the comments section, best one wins a "My Favorites" spot (lucky you, I know).
All I will say is "restroom specialist"?!?? We have fancy names for horseshit too.

One day a novice skier went up a mountain that any beginner should have avoided. No one would have blamed
her if she stayed behind. At 12 below zero, even Frosty the Snowman would have opted for a warm fire. Hardly a day for snow skiing, but her husband insisted. So she went.

While waiting in the lift line, she realized she was in dire need of a restroom. Assured there was a restroom at the top of the lift, she endured the bouncy ride, only to find there was no facility. She began to panic. Her husband had an idea: why not go out into the woods? Since she was wearing an all white outfit, she'd blend in with the snow.

What choice did she have? She skied past the tree line and arranged her ski suit at half-mast. Unfortunately, her husband hadn't told her to remove her skis. Inadvertently, she began sliding backwards across the slope, without a chance to make herself presentable. With arms flailing and skis sailing, she sped under the very
lift she'd just more...