Returns Jokes / Recent Jokes
A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's going to take up farming. He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, "Give me 100 baby chickens." The co-op man complies.
A week later the man returns and says, "Give me 200 baby chickens." The co-op man complies.
Again, a week after the man returns. This time he says, "Give me 500 baby chickens."
"Wow!" the co-op man replies. "You must really be doing well!"
"Naw," said the man with a sigh. "I'm either planting them too deep or too far apart!"
A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's going to take up farming. He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, "Give me 100 baby chickens." The co-op man complies.
A week later the man returns and says, "Give me 200 baby chickens." The co-op man complies.
Again, a week later the man returns. This time he says, "Give me 500 baby chickens."
"Wow!" the co-op man replies. "You must really be doing well!"
"Naw," said the man with a sigh. "I'm either planting them too deep or too far apart!"
Big chiefs wife goes to see the tribe doctor.
She tells him "Doctor, Big Chief, no fart" "Ahh" says the Doctor "take this tablet to him and tell him to stick it up his bum then come back in one week". So off she goes. All well and done, she returns a week later. "Doctor, Big Chief still no fart. "Hmmm I see" he says."Here, take this pill and do as you did last week". With that the Doctor hands her a pill the size of a matchbox. A week soon passes and she returns. "Doctor big chief still no-fucking fart"."Oh I see", says doctor, "Here take this and repeat the process" The Doctor hands her a tennis ball sized pill.The wife goes home to her flatulated spouse. She does as is told and returns to see the doctor the following morning looking rather bewildered. The doctor sits her down and asks her to report the outcome. After countless sobs she blurts out "Doctor, Big fart no fucking Chief".
A blonde walks into a second hand shop and looks at the clerk and says how much do you want for that television up there, in reply the clerk says we do not sell televisions to blondes.
The blonde leaves the store and goes to the local hair stylist and dyes her hair red and returns to the shop and asks how much they want for the television, again in reply the clerk says we do not sell televisions to blondes.
Angry the blonde leaves the store and this time colors her hair brunette and returns to the store asking how much they want for the television and the clerk again says we do not sell televisions to blondes.
The blonde then says how did you know it was me all along and in reply the clerk says,
"Thats a microwave not a television"
This Cowboy is riding the range when he gets ambushed by some indians. They take him back to their villiage to see the chief. The Chief looks at the cowboy and says:"You White man, you will die at sundown, but Chief is not as evil as white man, so you gettum three wishes." What is your first wish?, The cowboy looks around, thinks, then, with a gulp, say: "well, can i talk to my horse o' great chief?" The Chief looks puzzled, laughs to his tribe and says "he-he, sure white man you can talk to your horse". So the cowboy goes to his horse and wispers in it's ear, the horse looks puzzled, but then with bright eyes it gallops off in a cloud of dust. The Indians just sit and laugh at the cowboy for wasting his wish. BUT, all of a sudden the horse returns with a Blonde riding upon its back. The indians look amazed. The chief grins, points to a secluded Teepee. The cowboy now looks embarrassed, so he takes the blonde and goes into the teepee. An hour later he more...
A farmer goes into a farm supply store and orders two hundred chicks, explaining to the owner that he wants to start a chicken farm. Two weeks later, he returns to the store and buys another two hundred chicks. The owner is curious, but doesn't say anything. The same thing happens when the farmer returns in another two weeks for another two hundred chicks. When he returns for the fourth time, the owner's curiosity is too much for him, so he asks the farmer why he keeps coming back for so many chicks. The farmer says, "Well, I guess I must be doing something wrong, but I don't know what. I think I'm either planting them too deep or too close together." Bemused by his lack of success, the farmer sends off a report of what he has done to the local agricultural school, asking for advice. Three weeks later, the reply comes back, saying simply, "Please send soil sample."
A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."
The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger' units' than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."
Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly told his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."