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A cowboy is riding his horse through old Oklahoma, when all of a sudden he is captured by a tribe of indians. He is taken to their camp. The indian chief who can speak English tells the cowboy he is going to die in three days. The chief also says that since he has a big heart, he is going to give the cowboy one wish for every day until he dies, making it a total of three wishes.
For his first wish, he tells the chief he wants to talk to his horse. His horse is brought to him and he whispers something in the horse's ear and it takes off. It returns about an hour later with a beautiful woman on his back. The cowboy is furious and cusses the horse out and throws the women in his tent.
The second day he also says he wants to talk to his horse again. He whispers in the horses ear again and it takes off. It returns with another more beautiful woman. The cowboy is outraged and hits the horse and throws the women in his tent.
The last day the chief tells him more...
This Cowboy is riding the range when he gets ambushed by some indians. They take him back to their villiage to see the chief. The Chief looks at the cowboy and says:
"You White man, you will die at sundown, but Chief is not as evil as white man, so you gettum three wishes.
" What is your first wish?, The cowboy looks around, thinks, then, with a gulp, say: "well, can i talk to my horse o' great chief?
"The Chief looks puzzled, laughs to his tribe and says "he-he, sure white man you can talk to your horse".
So the cowboy goes to his horse and wispers in it's ear, the horse looks puzzled, but then with bright eyes it gallops off in a cloud of dust. The Indians just sit and laugh at the cowboy for wasting his wish. BUT, all of a sudden the horse returns with a Blonde riding upon its back. The indians look amazed. The chief grins, points to a secluded Teepee. The cowboy now looks embarrassed, so he takes the blonde and goes into the teepee. An more...
At night someone knocks on the door. Jeeto wakes up and asks:
"Santa, is that you?"
Silence. She returns to bed. Again a knock.
"Santa, don`t make me nervous, is that you?"
Silence. She waits a while then returns to bed. Again a knock. She opens the door to find her drunken husband, Santa, standing there.
"You moron! I was asking if it was you, why weren`t you answering???"
"I was nodding you!!!"
A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's going to take up farming. He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, "Give me 100 baby chickens." The co-op man complies. A week later the man returns and says, "Give me 200 baby chickens." The co-op man complies.
Again, a week later the man returns. This time he says, "Give me 500 baby chickens." "Wow!" the co-op man replies, "You must really be doing well!"
"Naw," said the man with a sigh, "I'm either planting them too deep or too far apart!"
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakingly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a more...
A blonde goes into a Best Buy. She asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing and again the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV - it's a microwave."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride into town one dusty, dry, Wild West day and proceed to the first saloon, where they tie up their trusty steeds and head in for a snort.
After a while a stranger walks into the bar and asks, 'Who owns the white horse tied up outside?'
The Lone Ranger said, 'Why, that would be mine. Why do you ask?'
'Because it's collapsed and looks like it's dying,' says the stranger.
So the Lone Ranger and Tonto head out to check on Silver.
'He's probably just suffering from the heat,' says the Lone Ranger, who asks Tonto if he could run around Silver for a while to help keep him cool.
The Lone Ranger returns to the bar and after half an hour another stranger walks in and asks, 'Who owns the white horse outside?'
The Lone Ranger says, 'That's mine, what's the problem this time?'
'Oh, no problem,' says the stranger, 'it's just that you've left your injun running.'