Rid Jokes / Recent Jokes
TWO cockroaches were living happily inside the belly of a man. The man was disturbed by their presence in his stomach and consulted a doctor on how to get rid of the nuisance. "Ilk 20 is very effective against cockroaches/ advised the medico.
The cockroaches overheard what the doctor said.' We are doomed,' said one cockroach.
'Don't be silly/ replied the other.' If the fellow takes Tik 20 it will kill him as well.'
The other was not convinced:' He is a fool. Just to get rid of us he may decide to kill himself. I don't care what you do; I am taking the early morning flight out of his belly.'
The cricket team was having a bad season. They had lost every game and the local feeling was that they should get rid of the side.
On match day, a customer came to the turnstile.' Could I have two, please,' he asked
'With pleasure,' said the attendant.' Batsmen or bowlers?'
One morning while she was making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said,' 'You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle.'' While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.
The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said,' 'You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra.''
This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said,' 'You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardner, the poolman and your brother.
50 ways to FREAK your roommate
1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave
"Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your
roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair
of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and
dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying,
"Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate
to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like,
THEY, were here again."
5. Every time you see your more...
The secret to getting rid of unwanted pubic hair is to spit.
The best way to get rid of a telemarketer is to ask them what they are wearing.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.