Riddle Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q:How do you kill a circus?
A:Go for the juggler!
Juggler: "I think someone's out to get me"
Friend: "what makes you think that?"
Juggler: "Yesterday I received a package containing three hand grenades!"
Juggler walks into a bar with an alligator under his arm. Says to the barman' do you serve clowns here'
"sure" replies the barman.
'great' says the juggler' I'll have a beer for myself and a clown for my alligator.
Q: how many jugglers does it take change a light bulb?
A: Ten. One to change it, eight to say "I can do that" and the tenth to say "That's my trick!"
Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but they do it over and over and over again.
Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but they insist on showing each variation of possible changes.
Q: What's the more...
You are driving along about 130 mph and a bee SPLAT right on the winshield.
What;s the last thing that goes through its mind?
It's ass.
: 24 questions from George Carlin's warped brain:
1. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
3. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled a them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
4. What's another word for synonym?
5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do:' practice'?
6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
7. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
8. Where do forest rangers go to' get away from it all'?
9. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
10. Why do they report power outages on TV?
11. What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
12. Is it possible to be totally more...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the' 'black man'' in order to trample him and keep him down.
The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,' 'Thou shalt cross the road.'' And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
L.A. Police Department: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Martin Luther King, more...
: Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Keep honking while I reload.
Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
So... who lit the fuse on your tampon?
Support cannibalism -- EAT ME!
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.
Your child may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.
If you more...
Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of knickers?
A: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, 1 beaver, an unknown number of hares, and a fish no one can find