Ridge Jokes / Recent Jokes

During World War II, a US marine was separated from his unit on a Pacific island. The fighting had been intense, and in the smoke and the crossfire he had lost touch with his comrades.

Alone in the jungle, he could hear enemy soldiers coming in his direction. Scrambling for cover, he found his way up a high ridge to several small caves in the rock. Quickly he crawled inside one of the caves. Although safe for the moment, he realized that once the enemy soldiers looking for him swept up the ridge, they would quickly search all the caves and he would be killed.

As he waited, he prayed, Lord, if it be your will, please protect me. Whatever your will though, I love you and trust you. Amen.

After praying, he lay quietly listening to the enemy begin to draw close. He thought, well, I guess the Lord isn't going to help me out of this one.

Then he saw a spider begin to build a web over the front of his cave. As he watched, listening to the enemy more...

Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type." "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?" "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "I don't more...

Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?""Yes, well, Im having trouble with WordPerfect.""What sort of trouble?""Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.""Went away?""They disappeared.""Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?""Nothing.""Nothing?""Its blank; it wont accept anything when I type.""Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?""How do I tell?""Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?""Whats a sea-prompt?""Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?""There isnt any cursor, I told you, it wont accept anything I type.""Does your monitor have a power indicator?""Whats a monitor?""Its the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when its on?""I dont know.""Well then, more...

An army 2Lt. is taking his platoon on patrol when his scouts come running back and say
"Sir, there's a Marine standing in the road".
The Lt. scoffs and sends a fire team to go investigate and remove the Marine.
They approach the Marine and he begins to head for a small ridge on the side of the road and motions for them to follow.
As the rest of the platoon advances and takes cover they hear yelling and screaming.
The Marine emerges a couple minutes of later and dusts himself off and again stands in the middle of the road.
The Lt. curses and calls for a squad to remove the Devil Dog.
He again heads down to s small ridge and they follow.
Once again there is blood-curdling screaming and weeping.
And AGAIN the Marine emerges and dusts himself off.
Bewildered and pissed off, the Lt. sends all but his platoon Sgt. down and says
"Eliminate the motherfu**er". They run towards him and again follow him to the ridge.
The more...

A man takes his wife out deer hunting for the first time. It's early in the morning and the husband is explaining the rules to his wife, "Now, remember these woods have a lot of greedy people in them, so if you shoot a deer, run right over to it and guard it. If you don't, someone else will take your deer away."
The wife nods okay.
"And, if you get in trouble, shoot your gun in the air three times. I'll be there as soon as I can."
And again the wife nods okay.
"Now, this is what we're going to do. See that ridge to your right? You're going to sit on top of that one, and I will sit on this one to the left. They both agree and go to their seperate ways.
About thirty minutes after sunrise, the husband hears a gunshot come from the ridge his wife is sitting on. He thinks to himself, "Cool, her first time out deer hunting and she gets one!"
Five more minutes pass, and he hears three gunshots come from the other ridge. He thinks, more...