Rifle Jokes / Recent Jokes

This was taken from an episode of "Welcome back, Kotter". Its not verbatim.
Mr. Kotter (to Julie): "Did i ever tell you about my uncle Herman, the hunter? Well, he wasn't really a hunter, his mother just wanted him to have a hobby. So she bought him a hunter's suit, a hunter's cap, and a rifle, and told him: "Now go out into the woods and shoot some game."
So he went out hunting, and out of some nearby bushes steps a beautiful girl, wearing a hunter's suit, a hunter's cap, and carrying a rifle. So he asked her: "Are you game?"
She said "Sure."
So he shot her.

A communication technician drafted by the army was at a firing range. At the range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and 50 rounds. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The technician looked at his weapon, and then at the target. He looked at the weapon again, and then at the target again. He then put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"

A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the
hills to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he collided with a bear, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside. His rifle went one way, and he went the other, landing on a rock and breaking both legs.That was the good news. The bad news was the ferocious bear was charging
at him, and he couldn't move."Oh, Lord," the preacher prayed, "I'm so sorry for skipping services today to come out here and hunt. Please forgive me and grant me just one wish: Please make a Christian out of that bear that's coming at me. Please, Lord!"That very instant the bear skidded to a halt, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and began to pray aloud at the preacher's feet:"Dear God, bless this food I am about to receive..."

One of Microsoft Network's finest support techs was drafted into the Army and sent to boot camp.

At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and fired several shots at the target which was fifty yards away.

The report came from the target area that all of his attempts had completely missed the target.

The tech looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then once more at the target. He placed his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.

The end of his finger was blown off -- whereupon he yelled toward the target area...

"It's leaving here just fine; the trouble must be at your end!"

A barman looks out the window of his bar and sees a guy riding a horse dressed in a hunting outfit with a rifle over one arm and a hound running along beside him.
He dismounts and comes walking into the bar where upon he takes the rifle off his shoulder and starts wandering around with his dog sniffing ever table, chair and small corner of the bar. After a while he approaches the barman who asks him what he's doing.
And the guy replies - "I'm hunting you idiot... can't you see that
!" "OK, OK..." says the barman, "Would you like a drink while you hunt ?".
Immediately the hunter says, " Do you have any cheap Gin !!?".
Rather taken a back by the abruptness of his request the barman replies, "No I'm sorry I'm all out of the cheap stuff is there anything else you'd like? ".
"No" says the hunter and he starts to leave.
As he reaches the door the barman calls after him, "Btw pal... exactly what do more...

Mike and Pat went hunting. Mike saw a large goose fly by. He raised his rifle to shoot.' Don't waste your time,' Pat hollered.' The rifle is not loaded.'' I can't wait,' Mike shouted back.' The bird will be gone if I take the time to load!'

A barman looks out the window of his bar and sees a guy riding a horse dressed in a hunting outfit with a rifle over one arm and a hound running along beside him.He dismounts and comes walking into the bar where upon he takes the rifle off his shoulder and starts wandering around with his dog sniffing ever table, chair and small corner of the bar. After a while he approaches the barman who asks him what he's doing.And the guy replies - "I'm hunting you idiot... can't you see that!" "OK, OK..." says the barman, "Would you like a drink while you hunt ?".Immediately the hunter says, " Do you have any cheap Gin !!?".Rather taken a back by the abruptness of his request the barman replies, "No I'm sorry I'm all out of the cheap stuff is there anything else you'd like? "."No" says the hunter and he starts to leave.As he reaches the door the barman calls after him, "Btw pal... exactly what do you hunt?"" I hunt for more...