Rifle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Note: This is an extract of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation. INTERVIEWER: " So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?" GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting." INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! that's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range." INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how,. ... we will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm." INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers." GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not more...

A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill". The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the clerk."I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house", the man replies.The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"

A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill".
The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I see a naked man and a
naked woman running around in the house", the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house, then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."
The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"

One of Microsofts finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. The technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "Its leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"

A telphone man joined the Army. As part of his basic
training, he went out on the rifle range. He fired 99 shots at
the target, and missed the target with every shot! His Drill
Instructor tried to find out why.
"What's the matter with you?" asked the DI. "Why can't you
hit the target? What were you in civilian life?"
"I was a telephone man," replied the new recruit, "and I
don't know why I can't hit the target. Let me see..."
The telephone man checked his rifle, checked his rifle
again, and checked his rifle a third time. He then put his
finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger, and blew the
end of his finger off!
"Well," the phone man said, writhing in pain, "the bullets
are leaving here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!"
Bruce Stein on the Line

A communication technician drafted by the army was at a firing range. At the range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and 50 rounds. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.

The technician looked at his weapon, and then at the target. He looked at the weapon again, and then at the target again. He then put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"

An executive with a new young wife and a yen for golf decided about December one year that he couldn't take it any longer. So he said to his wife one evening, "Honey, next Friday we're going to Hilton Head for the weekend. We'll get a condo on the golf course and I'm going to play golf all weekend." "That sounds fine," she purred. And, sure enough, next Saturday morning at 6 a.m., found him on the golf course, all alone. After playing two holes, he noticed a man carrying a golf bag walking toward him across a fairway. The exec. waited, and the other man arrived, saying, "Mind if I play along?" The exec. said, "Fine. Glad to have the company." All went well for a couple of holes, until each approached the sixth green. When the new fellow laid down his clubs, the cover came off one club. The exec. noticed, however, that it wasn't a club at all. It was a high powered rifle. "Whoa," he said. "That's a high powered rifle!" more...