Road Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?A: She was afraid someone would caesar!
A nun is walking down a deserted road when a man grabs her and starts raping her. After the rapist is done, he says, "Hey Sister, what are you going to tell the other Sisters now?""I'll tell them the truth, that you grabbed me, threw me to the ground, and raped me twice....unless you're tired." she responded.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.
3. a. You can legally kill yourself
3. b. You can legally be killed
4. You're exactly like the Germans, without an uneery sense of guilt.
5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks
Copenhagen is your capital.....
6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition.
7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country
8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours.
9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your bike, blame the Germans.
10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
1. You get to speak three languages, but none of more...
Four guys were driving cross country together-one from Idaho, one from Iowa,
one from Florida and the last one from New York.
A bit down the road the man from Idaho starts to pull potatoes from his bag
and begins throwing them out the window.
The man from Iowa turns to him and asks "What the hell are you doing?". The
man from Idaho says, "Man, we have SO MANY of these damned things in Idaho,
they're laying on the ground - I'm sick of looking at them!!!"
A few miles down the road, the man from Iowa begins pulling husks of corn
from his bag and throwing them out the window.
The man from Florida asks "What are you doing that for?". The man from Iowa
replies, "Man, we have so many of these damned things in Iowa that I am SICK
of looking at them!!"
Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car door and pushes
the New Yorker out!
An English man and an Irish man are driving head on, at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims,'' may the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies: '' no tanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here!''
A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes, getting a little practice in before the final exams.
He went over to a table where a body was lying face down. He removed the sheet over the body and to his surprise he found a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring this was fairly unusual, he pulled the cork out, and to his surprise, music began playing "On the road again. .. Just can't wait to get on the road again. .."
The student was amazed, and placed the cork back in the rectum. The music stopped. Totally freaked out, the student called the Medical Examiner over to the corpse.
"Look at this. This is really something!" the student told the examiner as he pulled the cork back out again.
"On the road again. .. Just can't wait to get on the road again. .."
"So what?" - the Medical Examiner replied, obviously unimpressed with the student's discovery.
"But isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever more...
A foursome was playing golf on a rather sunny day in spring. Fred was having some trouble with his swing but wasn't losing by too much. The group approached the 15th tee which was quite near a road and he watched as his partners teed off before him. Just before he was about to tee off a car came down the road and got a flat tire right near them. The woman in the car was quite striking so the other three men decided that they would help her out. Fred, on the other hand, wanted to tee off his shot first. His shot was beautiful. He was quite upset that his friends hadn't seen it. However, he quickly changed his mind as he saw the ball bounce twice on the green and roll into the cup. Just then a flash appeared at his feet and he looked down to see a small man. "I am the hole-in-one fairy and I will grant you a wish for your effort." Fred looked around to make sure no one saw him. If he was hallucinating he didn't want anyone to see him talking to no one. "Are you serious more...