Robber Jokes / Recent Jokes

A robber was robbing a house when he heard a voice. "Jesus is watching
you!" "who's
there?" The robber said But no sound was heard. So he kept going and
he heard it two
more times when he spotted a parrot. "What's your name," the robber
asked. "Cocodora"
said the parrot. "Now, what kind of idiot would name a bird Cocodora"
said the robber.
"The same idiot who named the rotweiler Jesus", said the parrot.

Police:[to robber]Are you not ashamed? You come to jail so often?
Robber:[to police]Why should I be sir. You also come here everyday.

From the Booth News Service, December 22, 1988:
Flint, Mich.-Maybe it's just because he's an amateur. Or maybe he
harbored a Freudian wish to be caught.
Whatever the reason, police had little trouble tracing a man who
allegedly held up a service station in Flint Township over the weekend. The
robber fled with $70, wearing a high school varsity jacket with his name on
the back. The suspect, 24, was to have been arraigned Monday.

Q. Why did the robber take a bath?

A. Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.

The MP was making his rounds through the Sembawang kampung area. In Ah Chye's kampung house, the MP noticed a pig with a wooden leg hobbling about. "Excuse me," the MP said to ah Chye, "but why does that pig have a wooden leg?" "Oh, it's like this, sir... one night a robber entered our household, tied all of us up, stole our jewelry and was about to escape when the pig came out of nowhere, attacked the robber and saved us all." "Oh, I see," said the MP uncertainly, "but I still don't understand. Why does the pig have a wooden leg?" "Oh, it's like this, sir... There was a fire when we were all out to the cinema at Chong Pang. The pig alerted our neighbors, ran around organizing a water bucket system and helped the firemen put out the fire." The MP was getting quite frustrated. "Listen, Mr Chye, That is all very interesting, but I still don't understand why the pig has a wooden leg." "Oh, it's like this, more...

One night a robber broke into a home. While he was aggressively searching through a desk the robber heard a voice say,' 'Jesus is watching you! ”
He yelled,' 'Who said that?!''
Once again the robber heard the same thing,' 'Jesus is watching you!''
The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its name was and the parrot replied,' 'Arthur.''
The robber said,' 'Ha ha! Who names a parrot that?! ”
With attitude the parrot laughs,' 'Ha ha! The same person who named the pit-bull BEHIND you Jesus!!"

A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door. "He was seen hopping and jumping around," said police spokesman Mike Carey, "with an explosion taking place inside his pants."
Police have the man's charred trousers in custody...