Rocks Jokes / Recent Jokes

The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the' most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.'



*Question: What is one horsepower? *Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.



*You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.



*Talc is found on rocks and on babies.



*The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.



*When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.



*When people run around and around in circles more...

What do you call an unemployed jester?. .. Nobody's fool. Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at. Why politicians don't enjoy the game of golf -- Because for them, it's too much like their work -- you know, being trapped in one bad lie after another. Feminist's lament: "I think, therefore I am single." Sign on the door of the maternity ward at the hospital: "Push. .. Push. .. Push!"Sign in a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels." Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager." Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further." Sign in a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"Elbonics: Two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scornto smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. If a tree falls in a forest, and hits a mime, does anybody say more...

Santa is driving down a road and sees a sign that says, “Watch for Fallen Rocks. ”

A few kilometres later, he sees some rocks at the side of the road, so he stops and picks them up.

When he gets to the next town, he carries the rocks into the Highway Maintenance office and puts them on the counter.

“Here are your fallen rocks, ” he says to the man behind the counter. “Now where is my watch? ”.

One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies.
He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil.
"You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the First room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water.
He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over.
Such was his fate in hell.
"No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Newt Gingrich with a Sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that more...

This story was related to me yesterday at lunch by a fellow manager, who
heard it from his dad (guaranteed true...) Phenomenal testimony that
physics shall not be denied, with some small humor value as well.
This story involves railroad cars, Denver and a fascinating gadget used in
auto wrecking yards called a "chipper." Apparently this device is fed
old auto carcasses, and it in turn produces manageable-sized "chips" of
metal.
Seems that on this eventful evening, four gondola cars were filled by a
chipper and headed out of Denver around dusk. Somewhere along the track,
on an uphill grade, something mechanical failed on one of the cars, and
the train pulled to a siding to uncouple it. The dutiful crew chocked
the wheels with rocks, wood chunks, etc. and then proceeded to unhook the
car.
Seems no one had the slightest idea of the mass being packed in that unit,
as the rocks/wood held it in place for about 6 more...

Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking through a mountain valley that was strewn with rocks, and the traveler asked, "How did these rocks get here?""Sir," said the guide, "they were brought down by a glacier."The tourist peered up the mountain and said, "But I don't see any glacier.""Oh, really?" said the guide. "I guess it has gone back for more rocks."

whats the diffrence between a sack of dead babies and a sack of rocks???
a sack of rocks wont feed my family