Rocks Jokes / Recent Jokes
This joke is about Native Americans; no offense intended, hope none is taken.
Native American Indian legend has it that many years ago, before the domination of the White Man, there existed a tribe that lived in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. And in this tribe, the Chief had decided that the time had come for his only daughter, the beautiful Wild Honey, to marry.
Now in this tribe, selection of a mate for the daughter of a chief involved a kind of round-robin competition among the eligible braves to determine who was the bravest, the strongest, the best hunter and provider. From the preliminary rounds, two great contenders emerged - the fast and powerful Running Water, and the bold and handsome Falling Rocks.
The final event of the competition would decide the winner. Each brave was given exactly seven days to prepare the traditional BTFTLOOTGO - "bridal tepee for the Little One of the Great One." The winner would be the brave who built the better tepee more...
The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions.
Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking through a mountain valley that was strewn with rocks, and the traveler asked, "How did these rocks get here?"
"Sir," said the guide, "they were brought down by a glacier."
The tourist peered up the mountain and said, "But I don't see any glacier."
"Oh, really?" said the guide. "I guess it has gone back for more rocks."
*Question: What is one horsepower?*Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. * You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind. * Talc is found on rocks and on babies. * The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down. * When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when theybroke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions. * When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we saythey are orbiting. * Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand. * While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really onlycentrificating. * Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction. * South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage. * Most books now say our more...
When throwing rocks at seabirds, leave no tern unstoned.
When painting baboons, leave no stern untoned.
Q: How are women and rocks alike? A: You skip across the flat ones.
Osama bin Laden finally gets his due when a one-ton tomahawk
missile lands
on his tent one day. He immediately goes to
hell, where the devil is waiting
for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on
my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to
stay here,
so I'll tell you what I'm going to do: I've got a
couple of people here
who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll
let one of them go, but you have
to take their place. I'll
even let YOU decide who leaves."
Osama bin
Laden thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil
opened the first room.
In it was Manuel Noriega and a large pool of water. He kept
diving in and
surfacing empty-handed. Over and over and over.
Such was his fate in hell.
"No," said Osama bin Laden, "I don't think so. I'm not a good
swimmer and
I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led more...
The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the' most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
Q: What is one horsepower?
A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
Talc is found on rocks and on babies.
The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.
When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are more...