Rolls Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man goes to the doctor after feeling ill. The doctor says, "You know, you should have come to see me sooner. Unfortunately you have waited too long and you are going to die this evening." The man is distraught and wonders how he is going to tell his wife. Well, he tells her and she takes it pretty well. "Honey, this is going to be a night that you will always remember," she says. "I am going to treat you like a king." She prepares a scrumptious gourmet dinner with wine, candles-the works.
After dinner she slips away and returns in the most incredible negligee the man has ever seen. She leads him into their bedroom. They make the most passionate love they have ever made. The man is beside himself. Once done, the wife rolls over to go to sleep knowing she kept her promise. Well, the husband is wide awake watching the clock.
He knows that he is doomed. He taps her..."Honey?" he whispers. She rolls over and again proceed to make love. more...

A man goes to the doctor after feeling ill.The doctor says, "You know, you should have come to see me sooner. Unfortunately you have waited too long and you are going to die this evening."The man is distraught and wonders how he is going to tell his wife. Well, he tells her and she takes it pretty well. "Honey, this is going to be a night that you will always remember," she says. "I am going to treat you like a king!"She prepares a scrumptious gourmet dinner with wine, candles-the works. After dinner she slips away and returns in the most incredible negligee the man has ever seen.She leads him into their bedroom. They make the most passionate love they have ever made. The man is beside himself. Once done, the wife rolls over to go to sleep knowing she kept her promise.Well, the husband is wide-awake watching the clock. He knows that he is doomed. He taps her... "Honey?" he whispers.She rolls over and again proceeds to make love. Again when they more...

This is a REAL recipe for a rather tasty, but disgusting looking cake.



Ingredients:



1 18. 5-ounce package spice cake mix

1 18. 5-ounce package white cake mix

2 4-serving packages instant vanilla pudding mix

1 12-ounce box vanilla wafer cookies, crushed

6 to 10 Tootsie Rolls

Confectioner's sugar

1 brand-new kitty litter pan

1 brand-new plastic pooper scooper

Green food coloring

Plastic flies (optional)



Prepare the cakes and pudding according to package directions. Crumble the baked cake into the kitty litter pan, then add the pudding and mix. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of the cookie crumbs and set aside; mix the rest into the pan. Soften the Tootsie Rolls by placing in the micro- wave for 10 seconds on high and shape to resemble cat droppings. Arrange the Tootsie Rolls on top of the cookie-pudding more...

Once there were three teenagers, two boys and one girl. The teenagers wanted to stay in a hotel, so they drove to the nearest one. The hotel owner said, "We only have one more free room, but it is the haunted one." The teenagers didn't care, so they said they'd take it anyway. "It's on the 4th floor." the owner said. Once the teenagers had gotten to the 4th floor, they heard a sound coming from inside of the room. The oldest boy said he'd go in first to see what the sound was. He went inside and heard a high-pitched voice saying, "When the log rolls over, we'll all be dead!" The teenager ran through the window screaming and died. Then the second oldest boy went into the room and heard, "When the log rolls over, we'll all be dead!" He too ran out the window screaming and died. Then it was the girls turn. Even though she was the youngest of the three teenagers, she was the bravest. She too heard, "When the log rolls over, we'll all be more...

A newly rich internet entrepreneur splurged on a Rolls Royce after his IPO and couldn't wait to show it off. So after a meeting with the manager of his bank, he offered him a ride home.

A mile or two into the ride, he couldn't help asking the banker, "So whaddya think? Pretty snappy, huh? Bet you've never ridden in one of these before."

"Actually, I have," replied the banker graciously, "but this is my first time in the front seat."

She says, "Not tonight honey, I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay clean and fresh."
The man feeling rejected rolls over and tries to go to sleep.
In a few minutes he rolls back over and asks his wife, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow?"

A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down
his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in
your Rolls? I've got one in my Yugo!"
The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes I have a phone."
The driver of the Yugo says, "Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there, too? I got a fridge in the back
seat of my Yugo!"
The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."
The driver of the Yugo says, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a
TV in the back seat of my Yugo!"
The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Of course I have a television. A
Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"
The driver of the Yugo says, "Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in more...