Roman Jokes / Recent Jokes
Controversial "Egan's Law" Expected to Gain Widespread Support
Trenton, N.J. (SatireWire.com) — Under a new law designed to protect minors, local police departments will now be required to inform residents any time a known Roman Catholic church moves into their neighborhood.
The law also mandates that Catholic churches register with authorities, wear electronic monitoring devices, and be prohibited from moving to within a half-mile radius of a school.
A follow-up to Megan's Law, enacted by New Jersey in 1994, the so-called "Egan's Law" is named for Cardinal Edward Egan of New York and Cardinal Bernard Law of Boston, who are both accused of covering up sexual abuse by priests under their authority. Like Megan's Law, Egan's Law is expected to spread quickly to other states, but for parents in towns across New Jersey, it's on the books none too soon.
"Last year, we discovered that a Catholic Church had been in our neighborhood for 30 years! And more...
Q: Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
A. She was afraid someone would caesar!
Satanic Barney Proof Given: Barney is a CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR Prove: Barney is satanic The Romans had no letter 'U', and used 'V' instead for printing, meaning the Roman representation would for Barney would be: CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR Extracting the Roman numerals, we have: CV V L DI V And their decimal equivalents are: 100 5 5 50 500 1 5 Adding those numbers produces: 666. 666 is the number of the Beast. Proved: BARNEY IS SATAN! oI=vo ?/$="'" """^SATAN$~ .&?/' '""$$,, /?/' /-"^. .-=~T,, /?/' /SATAN IS,&' LT '? ''? ^I/HATE
The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates. Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used. Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on the old long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts. So who built these old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in Europe were built by
Imperial Rome for the benefit of their Legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the more...
How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night of drinking and thought' How did I get home?'? As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the bar to your home. The answer to this puzzle is that you used a beer scooter.
The beer scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased out to drunks by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has branched out since the decrease in the worship of the Roman pantheon and bought a large batch of these magical devices.
The beer scooter works in the following fashion:
The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the slurring gland begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects the pheromone and sends down a winged beer scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a trans-dimensional portal.
It is not cheap to run a beer scooter franchise, so a large portion of the more...
How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night of drinking and thought 'How did I get home?'? As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the bar to your home. The answer to this puzzle is that you used a beer scooter.
The beer scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased out to drunks by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has branched out since the decrease in the worship of the Roman pantheon and bought a large batch of these magical devices.
The beer scooter works in the following fashion:
The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the slurring gland begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects the pheromone and sends down a winged beer scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a trans-dimensional portal.
It is not cheap to run a beer scooter franchise, so a large portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is more...