Roman Jokes / Recent Jokes
BETHLEHEM -- It was rumored today that an unmarried couple from
Nazareth stopped in a manger owned by Alfredo Pinchi, a notorious
local slumlord, and a baby was born.
"There was no running water, and the place was filled with straw,"
commented local public health authorities. "We even found a
donkey inside!"
"The mother gave birth under extremely questionable circumstances,"
offered Pontius Pilate, Judean candidate for District Attorney.
"She claims to have been a virgin."
Unconfirmed reports indicate that Roman authorities are
investigating the baby on charges of sedition and treason. "There
are a bunch of people running around alleging that the baby is the
son of God," explained Pilate, "and that he will have some radical
ideas about religion in the future."
Three Kings from the Orient were caught on the outskirts of
Bethlehem more...
Herewith is a compendium of movie clichés, stereotypes, obligatory scenes, hackneyed formulas, shopworn conventions and outdated archetypes. The author says that as you go to enough different movies, you start to notice things. Like how every time there's a chase scene in an exotic locale, a fruit cart gets overturned. Or how whenever the hero knocks out a Nazi sentry and puts on his uniform, the uniform is a perfect fit. Or how there are plots that would be over in five minutes, if all characters weren't idiots. Actress Inferior Position - In movie sex scenes, which are usually directed by men, the POV (Point of View) at the moment of climax is almost always the man's, so that we see the actress, not the actor, losing control. AC-WAT-NOBI Movie - A Cop With A Theory No One Believes In. Against All Odds Rule - In an apparently fatal situation from which there is no possible hope of survival, it is certain the characters will survive. In a situation where there is any apparent chance more...
This joke was told to me by a friend:
Jesus, hanging on the cross, says, "Peter, come here." Peter, thinking he is
about to receive a profound religious truth, tries goes to Jesus but Roman
soldiers push him back.
Again Jesus summons, "Peter, come here." Peter tries to, but Roman soldiers
again push him away.
Jesus summons a third time, "Peter come here." Peter gathers all of his
strength and finally breaks through. Bleeding from several lance wounds,
Peter says, "Yes, Master?"
Jesus looks upon Peter and says, "I can see your house from here!"
Eleazer Bokar appeared at the gates of Heaven and knocked for admittance. The great doors slowly swung open and the patriach Abraham stepped out, blowing his golden trumpet. When he had finished the welcoming concerto, he turned to Eleazer and said, "Greetings, blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh. God awaits you."
Recovering from the awesome splendor of this type of welcome, Eleazer quickly replied, "Father Abraham, I am ready to meet our God," and stepped forward to enter the celestial portals.
"Wait, my brother," said Abraham, halting Eleazer with an imperiously, upraised palm. "Before entering God's Kingdom, you must first prove that you are worthy of the honor."
"But how can I prove my worthiness," queried Eleazer.
"You must show that, at least once in your mortal life, you displayed outstanding courage. Can you recall one unquestionably brave deed?"
Eleazer's face brightened as he said, more...
Satanic Barney Proof Given: Barney is a CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR Prove: Barney is satanic The Romans had no letter' U', and used' V' instead for printing, meaning the Roman representation would for Barney would be: CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR Extracting the Roman numerals, we have: CV V L DI V And their decimal equivalents are: 100 5 5 50 500 1 5 Adding those numbers produces: 666. 666 is the number of the Beast. Proved: BARNEY IS SATAN! oI=vo? /$="'" """^SATAN$~. &?/' `""$$,, /?/' /-"^.. -=~T,, /?/' /SATAN| |IS,&' |LT `? ``?^I/HATE@:~:$=v. `$k==v.??, `d `$$'9P'I-LOVE=SATAN/$$~?$, R/ /$?~^'"""""`"&&