Romantic Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was another man who was so romantic he died for love: His wife caught him cheating and blew his brains out.
Two elderly residents, one male and one female, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening. The old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting, and for $5.00, I'll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair."
The old lady looked surprised but didn't say a word. The old man continued, "For $10.00 I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for $20.00 I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life."
The old lady still says nothing but after a couple minutes, starts digging down in her purse. She pulls out a wrinkled $20.00 bill and holds it up. "So you want the nice romantic evening in my room, huh?" asks the old man.
"Heck no!" replies the old lady, "I want it four times in the rocking chair!!"
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A man and a women was in bed on a thursday night after a nice romantic dinner. They had sex for 43 minutes, The man says after shooting his load "that was good darling. Hefeel asleep.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you're not.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
Every time I see your face.
I wish I were in outer space.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in, to smell this way.
My feelings for you no words can tell.
Except for maybe' go to hell.'
This is the story of two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another.
As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her,' Will you marry me?'
After about six seconds of' careful consideration,' she answered.' Yes, Yes, I will.'
The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. Did she say' yes' or did she say' no'? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.
As he gained a little more courage, he more...
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.
That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.