Romantic Jokes / Recent Jokes

(Age 22)1. Handsome2. Charming3. Financially successful4. A caring listener5. Witty6. In good shape7. Dresses with style8. Appreciates the finer things9. Full of thoughtful surprises10. An imaginative, romantic lover(Age 32)1. Nice looking - preferably with hair on his head2. Opens car doors, holds chairs3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at a restaurant4. Listens more then he talks5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times6. Can carry all the groceries wit hease7. Owns at least one tie8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal9. Remembers anniversaries10. Likes to be romantic at least once a week(Age 42)1. Not too ugly- Bald head OK2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car3. Works steady- splurges on dinner at McDonald's on occasion4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking5. Usually remembers the punch line of jokes6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture7. Usually wears shirt that covers stomach8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw top lids9. Remembers to put more...

5 secrets to romantic happiness
1. It is important to find a man who works around the house, cooks and cleans and who has a job.
2. It is important to find a man who makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man who is dependable and doesn't lie.
4. It is important to find a man who's good in bed and who loves to have sex with you.
5. It is important that these four men never meet

Mr. Jones, who had been away on an extended trip, had very romantic plans for his first night home. He said them to his wife, who promptly said, "Oh, I'm sorry, dear, but I've got to do all of this laundry. Another time, please."

The next night Jones tried again, and his wife said, "Oh my, I would like to dear, but it wouldn't be any good. I've got this terrible headache. Please give me a rain check."

By the third night, Jones was rather impatient. "How about it?" he said urgently. Mrs. Jones snapped back, "This is the third night in a row you've asked. What are you? Some kind of a sex maniac?"

5 secrets to romantic happiness

1. It is important to find a man who works around the house, cooks and cleans and who has a job.

2. It is important to find a man who makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man who is dependable and doesn''t lie.

4. It is important to find a man who''s good in bed and who loves to have sex with you.

5. It is important that these four men never meet.

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very ritzy jewelery shop.

The jeweler inquired,' Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'

Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered,' No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".'

The jeweler smiled and said,' Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'

Roger retorted with a glint in his eye,' Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'

This husband and wife are staying in a hotel, and after a romantic evening wining and dining they go off to bed. However, as soon as they settled down, the man (not quite ready for slumber) leans over and whispers softly, "Hey snuggle boopy boops, your lickle hubby wubby isn't quite ready for bye-byes yet."
The wife takes the hint and says, "OK, but I have to use the bathroom first." So off she goes but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and lands flat on her face.
Her husband jumps up and exclaims in a concerned tone "Oh my little honey bunny, is your nosey-wosey all right?"
No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad passionate sex for three hours. Afterwards, the wife goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way she trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor.
Her husband looks over and grunts "Clumsy bitch."

Returning from a lengthy trip away, Kurt had very romantic hopes for his first night home. Sharing his hopes with his wife, she replied, "I'm sorry dear. I have cleaning and laundry to do. Another time, ok."
Kurt tried again the next night, only to have his wife tell him, "I just can't dear. I have this horrible headache, but give me a rain check."
By the third night, Kurt was growing very impatient. Approaching his wife once more, he said urgently, "How about it, honey?"
Snapping back at him, she said, "Look, this is the third night in the row. What the hell are you, a sex maniac?"