Romantic Jokes / Recent Jokes

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams"

The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "My dearest, you have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,

"Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked. "She said,' get out from under the bed and fight like a man'."

Nancy was dating her friend Patty's ex-boyfriend. Said Nancy: "He's so romantic. Every time he speaks to me he starts with "Fair lady..."

Patty says, "Romantic my eye. He used to be a bus driver."

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish." "Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband," said the wife. The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands. Then it was the husband`s turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I`m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish... So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - the husband became 92 years old. The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful should remember more...

Here are a few ways girls turn "romantic" guys down!!!
HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!

SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!!
HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?

SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!!
HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?

SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?

SHE: I must have been given your share!!!
HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?

SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!
HE: Your face must turn a few heads!

SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!

SHE: Okay, get out!!!
HE: I think I could make you very happy.

SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?

SHE: more...

One night two elderly residents, one male and one female, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home.
The old man looks over at the old lady and says, "I know what you want. For $5 I'll have sex with you over there in that rocking chair." The old lady looks surprised but remains silent.
The old man continued, "For $10 I'll do it with you on that soft sofa, but for $20 I'll take you back to my room and give you the most romantic night you've ever had."
The old woman, still saying nothing, thinks for a couple of seconds, digs into her purse and pulls out a $20 bill.
"So," says the old man, "you want a romantic evening in my room."
"Hell no!" replies the old lady. "I want it four times in that rocking chair."