Roommate Jokes / Recent Jokes
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
118. Call your roommate "Clyde" by accident. Start doing so every so often. Increase the frequency over the next few weeks, until you are calling him "Clyde" all the time. If your roommate protests, say, "I'm sorry. I won't do that anymore, Murray."
Bruce comes home one day and says to his lover, "Please do me a favor. It feels like something's stuck up my ass. Could you check it out for me?" His roommate lubes up his finger (mercifully) and shoves it up Bruce's ass, feeling all around, and says, "I don't feel anything." Bruce says, "Trust me, there's something up there. Try lubing up your whole hand and checking it out." So his roommate lubes his whole hand and sticks it up Bruce's ass. He feels around, and then pulls out a Rolex watch. He says, "I found your problem. There was a watch stuck up your ass." Bruce starts singing, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..."
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
181. When your roommate has friends over, get under your covers and stare at them through a little hole in the covers. Use a telescope.
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
182. When you leave the room, put on a screensaver that says, "I'm watching you."
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
183. Move very stiffly and grin. Tell your roommate that you've turned into Gumby.
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
184. Study computer science and listen to techno while talking about robots taking over the world.
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
186. Wear a silly hat.