Roommate Jokes / Recent Jokes

Top Ten Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to more...

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
42. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
43. Put horse radish in your roommate's shoes.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
44. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
46. While you're roommate is there and you are not, secretly order a pizza up to him using his name.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
47. Buy a copy of Frankie Yankovic's "Pennsylvania Polka," and play it at least 6 hours a day. If your roommate complains, explain that it's an assignment for your primitive cultures class.

Police are investigating a 28-year-old woman who kept the body of her roommate in their apartment for up to three weeks.

When questioned by police if she recently had an argument with her roommate the woman said, "No, in fact for the past three weeks we got along just fine."