Rope Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little boy, wearing a big red fire hat, was riding a toy fire truck
down the street. The truck was being pulled by a beautiful Labrador
Retriever. Unfortunately, the rope was tied around the dog's privates,
and as a consequence, the truck was going very slowly. A man walking down
the street noticed how slowly the boy was being pulled and gently said to
him, "You know, son, that truck would go a lot faster if the rope was
tied around your dog's neck." The boy nodded in agreement and said, "But
then there wouldn't be a siren."

A blonde and two brunettes are hanging on ropes that are 45 above the ground. One of the brunettes ropes are about to break so she moves her hand across the rope too hold the two breaking points together. She does it sucessfully so then the blone was so proud of her bravery that she decides to calp for her.

An old European monastery is perched high on a 500 foot cliff. Visitors ride up in a big basket, pulled to the top with a ragged old rope.

Halfway up, a passenger nervously asked: "How often do you change the rope?"

The monk in charge replied: "Whenever the old one breaks."

Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient.
I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it more...

While working on a message the pastor heard a knock at his office door. "Come in," he invited.
A contrite-looking man in threadbare clothes came in, pulling a goat on a rope, "Can I talk to you for a minute?" asked the man with his hat in his hand.
Wordlessly, the pastor indicated the chair and the man sat down in it gingerly. The goat proceeded to sniff around the office.
With one eye on the animal and one on the man, the pastor folded his hands on his desk and leaned forward, curious to hear the fellow's story, "What can I do for you?"
"My family is hungry," started the man. "So I stole this goat. But I feel that I have sinned. Would you please take it?"
"Certainly not," said the minister.
"Then what should I do with it?" asked the man.
"Give it back to the man you stole it from, of course!" the pastor explained.
"I offered it to him, but he refused to take it. Now more...

There were 11 people - ten men and one woman - hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return. When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.

11 people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest.

10 were blondes, one was a brunette. As a group they decided that one of the party must let go. If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish.

For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.

Finally, the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.

The blondes applauded.