Rope Jokes / Recent Jokes
So there was this horse and a chicken that lived on a farm. The horse and the chicken were in fact two very good friends. One day the horse fell into a mud hole that he could not get out of. The chicken saw this and said, "What should I do?","What should I do?" and the horse replies,"Go get the farmers BMW and a rope so that you can pull me out".
So, the chicken runs and gets the BMW and a rope. He drives it back, ties the rope to the horse and the other end to the car. The chicken puts the car in gear and pulls the horse out. "Wow", the horse said. "Thanks alot out there". So one day the chicken falls into the hole. "Help, Help" he is saying."Go get the farmers BMW and a rope to pull me out!" The horse said, "No need.... I just straddle the hole and you hold onto my dick and pull me out" "OK" said the chicken. So the chicken grabs a hold of his dick and is pulled out.
What more...
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to leave, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to name that person, until the Woman held a very touching speech.
She said that she will voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman she is used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, without ever getting anything in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands...
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Rules for Buying Gifts for MenRule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why. Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the wordratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why. Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why. Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts. Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones more...
One day a horse and a chicken were playing in the meadow. In the middle of the meadow there was a mud hole. While wildly running around, the horse fell into the mud hole and became stuck. He spied the chicken near by and called for help. Hey, chicken, I'm stuck in the mud hole. Go to the farmer's house for help!' yelled the horse. The chicken took off and ran to the farm house, but the farmer was not home. The chicken saw the farmer's Mercedes in the driveway and decided to drive it out to the meadow to save the horse.
The chicken grabbed a coil of rope, hopped into the Mercedes and drove out to the meadow. Once there, he tied one end of the rope to the Mercedes and tossed the other end to the horse. The chicken hopped back in the Mercedes and pulled the horse from the mud. The horse was very grateful. He said, 'Thanks chicken, if you ever need anything you can count on me.' The chicken replied, 'No problem, Horse,' and both went on their separate ways.
A few weeks later, the more...
There were 11 people holding onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off." After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.
There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.
Ten were sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, “I’ll get off. ”
After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardar started Clapping.