Roulette Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He
>is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the
>green.
>
>He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,
>"Ribbit 9 Iron." The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.
>"Ribbit. 9 iron."
>
>He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts
>his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! he hits it 10
>inches from the cup. He is shocked!
>
>He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky
>frog, eh?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. Lucky frog."
>
>The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.
>"What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood."
>
>The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one. The man is
>befuddled and doesn't know what to say.
>
>By the end of the day, the man golfed more...

First man: My wife suggested that I take up a new sport this summer.Second man: Well, that's nice. It shows that she has your interests at heart. Did she make any suggestions?First man: As a matter of fact, she did. By the way, how do you play this Russian Roulette?

The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the final day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said "As your stay is coming to an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
[click] [click]
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was much impressed with the couragous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his more...

A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG!
He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG!
So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
The deep voice says: OPEN!
Ok, the man thinks, let's open the thing. He finds a rock with which to destroy the lock, and when the chest is finally open, he sees a lot of gold coins.
The deep voice says: TO THE CASINO!
Well the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino.
The deep voice says: ROULETTE!
So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables, where the players gaze at him with disbelief.
The deep voice says: 27!
He takes the whole pile and drops it at the 27. The table nearly bursts. Everybody is quiet when the croupier throws the more...

The new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat. They'd spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out.

"The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette."

The American frowned. "Russian roulette's not a very nice game."

The diplomat smiled. "That's why we developed African roulette. If you want to have good relations with our country, you'll have to play. I'II show you how."

He pushed a buzzer, and a moment later six magnificently built, nude women were ushered in. "You can choose any one of those women to give you oral sex," he told the American.

"That's great," the ambassador said. "That doesn't seem much like Russian roulette."

"Oh, it is. One of them is a cannibal."

A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: "DIG!"

He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: "I SAID, DIG! "

So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock.

The deep voice says: "OPEN! "

Ok, the man thinks, let's open the thing. He finds a rock with which to destroy the lock, and when the chest is finally open, he sees a lot of gold coins.

The deep voice says: "TO THE CASINO! "

Well the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino.

The deep voice says: "ROULETTE! "

So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables, where the players gaze at him with disbelief.

The deep voice says: "27! more...

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Las Vegas. She's down to her last $50.
Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"
A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"
He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up, then she just fainted!"