Round Jokes / Recent Jokes

An elderly lady from a remote little town went to one of Philadelphia's most fashionable suburbs to visit her niece
and husband. Nearby was a very well known golf course.
On the second afternoon of her visit, the elderly lady went for a stroll. Upon her return, the young niece asked, "Well, Auntie, did you enjoy yourself?"
"Oh, yes, indeed," said Auntie, beaming. "Before I had walked very far, I came to some beautiful rolling fields.
There seemed to be a number of people about, mostly men. Some of them kept shouting at me in a very eccentric manner, but I took no notice. There were four men who followed me
for some time, uttering curious excited barking sounds. Naturally, I ignored them, too. Oh, by the way," she added, as she held out her hands, "I found a number of these
curious little round white balls, so I picked them all up and brought them home hoping you could explain what they're all about."

A Polak, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink. The Irishman said "Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness."
The Italian said "That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table."
The Polak said "That sounds fine but if we go to Kowalski's we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid."
"That sounds to good to be true!" the Irishman exclaimed. "Have you actually been there?"
"No," the Polak replied, "but my wife goes there all the time."

A man walks into a shul with a dog. The shammas comes up to him and says, "Pardon me, this is a House of Worship, you can't bring your dog in here."
"What do you mean," says the man, "this is a Jewish dog. Look."
And the shammas looks carefully and sees that in the same way that a St. Bernard carries a brandy barrel round its neck this dog has a tallis bag round its neck.
"Rover," says the man, "daven!".
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a kipa and puts it on his head.
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a tallis and puts it round his neck.
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a siddur and starts to daven.
"That's fantastic," says the shammas, "absolutely amazing, incredible! You should take him to Hollywood, get him on television, get more...

Jon was excited about his new rifle and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear.
The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have sex." Jon decided to bend over.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown bear stood right next to him.
The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex." Again, Jon thought it was better to comply.
Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a more...

A pig walks into a bar and says to the bartender ''Can I have a pint of beer please''
The bartender says ''Certainly sir, that's

This is a story about Johnnie's day at school....Johnnie's teacher got up
in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing
game! The teacher said, "I have something behind my back. It's red in
color and round. It's soft, but it's hard."
Johnnie raised his hand and
said, "Teacher, I know it's a red rubber ball." The teacher said, "No
Johnnie, it's an apple, but I like the way that you think."
Next the
teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. "I have
something behind my back. It's orange in color and round. It's soft,
but it's hard," said Johnnie's teacher.
Johnnie raised his hand again
and said, "Teacher, teacher, I know it's an orange rubber ball." The
teacher looked at Johnnie and said, "No Johnnie, it's an orange, but I
like the way that you think."
Johnnie was now getting the hang of it so
he asked the teacher if he more...

Q: How many newfies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 2 one to hold the light bulb and 1 to spin him round and round.