Round Jokes / Recent Jokes

Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear(to be sung to "Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland")Lacy things - the wife is missin, Didn't ask - her permission, I'm wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin' round in women's underwear.In the store - there's a teddy, Little straps - like spaghetti, It holds me so tight, Like handcuffs at night, Walkin' round in women's underwear.In the office there's a guy named Marvin, He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say, "Whoa, Man!""Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"Later on, if you wanna, We can dress - like Madonna, Put on some eyeshade, And join the parade, Walkin' round in women's underwear!

1. "You get this round and the next round is on me."
I'll be leaving before the next round.
2. "I'll get this round and the next one is on you."
Happy hour is about to end. Beers are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $3.50.
3. "Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.
4. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female)
I'm easy.
5. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male)
I'm gay.
6. "Ever try a body shot?" (male to female)
I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.
7. "Ever try a body shot?" (female to male)
If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?
8. "I don't feel well, let's go home." (female)
You are paying more attention to your friends than more...

The big-game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter.

The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that he could recognize any animal's skin by feeling it, and he could tell what caliber rifle was used to shoot it by locating the bullet hole. This was a bit too much for the other customers, and soon a heated argument started.

The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and the bet was on. They blindfolded him and took him to his first animal skin.

After feeling it for a few moments, he announced, "Springbok." Then he felt for the bullet hole and declared, "And it was shot with a. 22 rifle."

He was right!

The others could not believe it and the argument was even hotter than before. When someone suggested that he must have peeped, he said that he was prepared to do it again for another round. So more...

A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"
The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"
"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"
"Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?"
"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."
"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"
"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."
"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"
"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf more...

Someone once told me that love makes the world go' round. Well, I just had to laugh in their face because, c'mon, everyone knows that what makes the world go' round is a mutant gerbil on a treadmill.

A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!" The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?" "It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!" "Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?" "No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it." "Well, what if you hit it into the woods?" "Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed." "Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?" "No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!" The golfer buys it at more...

A group of blondes walks into a bar, all excited and giggling. They order a round of drinks. One of the blondes raises her glass and shouts excitedly, "51!!" "51!!" The other blondes echo. After they have finished their drinks, another round is ordered. Again, the blondes toast "51". This happens a few times. Finally, the bartender speaks up. "Excuse me," He says, "But why do you ladies keep doing that?" "Well," Says one of the blondes, very bubbly, "We got a puzzle, right? And it said 2-4 years on the box. We finished it in 51 days!!!!!"