Round Jokes / Recent Jokes

Banta was not home at his usual hour, and his wife, Preeto, was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3: 00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was Banta, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.
"Do you realize what time it is?" she asked.
He answered, "Don`t get excited. I`m late because I bought something for the house."
Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, "What did you buy for the house, dear?"
Banta`s answer was, "A round of drinks!"

I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting. She told me she didn't know how to cook them.

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A husband and wife (a blonde) went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband's feet. "Are you hurt?" he asked.

"Of course I'm hurt!"

she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once!"

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A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."

"Oh, No!" she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy.

"Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter.

The dumb Blonde more...

THE MASTERCARD COMMERCIAL ALL MEN ARE WAITING FORCover charge: $15. 00 Round of drinks: $23. 00 Table dance: $30. 00 Another round of drinks: $23. 00 Couch dance and tips: $50. 00 A round of shots: $34. 00 A Bottle of Dom and a Limo home: 125. 00 Private dance in your hotel room: $300. 00 Sending her on her way and never having to hear her complain: PricelessFor everthing else.... There's MasterCard

A golfer and his buddies where playing a big round of golf for $200. At the eighteenth green the golfer had a ten foot putt to win the round, and the $200.As he was lining up his putt, a funeral procession started to pass by. The golfer set down his putter, took his hat off, placed it over his chest, and began to wait for the funeral procession to pass. After it passed, he picked up his putter and returned to lining up his putt.One of his buddies said, "That was the most touching thing I have ever seen. I can't believe you stopped playing, possibly loosing your concentration, to pay your respects.""Well, we were married for 25 years!"

A man walks into a bar and orders a round of drinks for the house, a shot for himself and a shot for the bartender. After everyone takes their drink the bartender turns to the man and says “That’ll be $89. ” The man looks at the bartender and says “Sorry I don’t have any money. ” The bartender then proceeds to kick the shit out of the man and throw him out. The next day same man comes walking into the bar. He then proceeds to order a round of drinks for the house, a shot for himself and a shot for the bartender. After everyone finishes their drink the bartender says “That’ll be $96. ” Man says, “Sorry but I don’t have any money. ” The bartender again proceeds to kick his ass and throw him out. The next day AGAIN the same man comes walking into the bar. The bartender thinks to himself, “He can’t be THAT stupid he has to have brought money! ” The guy sits down and orders a round of drinks for the house and a shot for himself. The bartender then asks “What more...

Is It Better To Be A Jock Or A Nerd?
The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd"?
Michael Jordan made over $300, 000 a game. That equals $10, 000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per game.
With $40 million in endorsements, he made $178, 100 a day, working or not.
If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52, 000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $9. 50, but he'll make $18, 550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
He makes $7, 415/hr more than minimum wage.
He'd make $3, 710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura SLX (about $90, 000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2. 00 every second.
He'd probably pay around $200 for a nice more...

Ram Lal walked into a bar and ordered a large brandy for himself and drinks for everyone in the bar.' And have one for yourself,' he said grandly to the owner of the bar.
Half-an-hour later the order was repeated: a large brandy for himself and drinks for everyone in the bar and one for the owner of the bar!
Ram Lai carried on like this all evening, every half hour, ordering drinks all round - and one for the owner of the bar, who eventually became concerned about the size of the bill. So when Ram Lal gave his ninth gigantic order, the owner said,' I hope you don't mind my mentioning it, sir, but your bill now amounts to Rs. 1, 687 and 50 paisa.
'Does it?' said Ram Lal.' Well, I'm sorry about that, because I haven't got a paisa on me!'
The owner leapt over the counter in fury and grabbed Ram Lal by the throat; he slapped him on the face, kicked him on the shins, and finally hurled him out through the door where he landed in a gutter.
The following evening, the more...