Rubbed Jokes / Recent Jokes

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "I had an affair with a woman - almost." The priest says, "What do you mean,' almost'?"

The man says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

The man leaves confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.
The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"

The man replied, "Well, Father, I rubbed up against it and you said it was the same as putting it in!"

One day when the teacher walked into the classroom, she noticed that someone had written the word' PENIS' (in tiny letters) on the blackboard. She scanned the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she rubbed the word off and began class

The next day, the word' PENIS' was written on the board again; this time it was written about halfway across the board. Again she looked around in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with the day's lesson

Every morning for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's being larger than the previous one, and each being rubbed off vigorously

At the end of the second week, she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board but instead found the words:' The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.'

A man found a brass lamp, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared.
"For freeing me from the lamp, I will grant you any wish you desire," the genie said.
The man replied, "I want a spectacular job. A challenge that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try."
"Poof!" Said the genie. "You're a housewife."

A married man goes to confessional and he tells the priest,"I had an affair with a woman... almost." The priest says,"what do you mean almost?" The man says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed togetherbut then I stopped." The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the same as puttingit in. You're not to go near that woman again, now say fiveHail Marys and put $50 in the poor box." The man leaves confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment andthen starts to leave. The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him andsays, "I saw that, you didn't put any money in the poor box!" The man replied, "Well Father, I rubbed up against it and yousaid it was the same as putting it in!"

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "I had an affair with a woman - almost."
The priest says, "What do you mean, 'almost'?"
The man says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."
The man leaves confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.
The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The man replied, "Well, Father, I rubbed up against it and you said it was the same as putting it in!"

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "I had an affair with a woman - almost."The priest says, "What do you mean, 'almost'?"The man says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."The man leaves confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"The man replied, "Well, Father, I rubbed up against it and you said it was the same as putting it in!"

One day when the teacher walked into the classroom, she noticed that someone had written the word' PENIS' (in tiny letters) on the blackboard. She scanned the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she rubbed the word off and began class.

The next day, the word' PENIS' was written on the board again; this time it was written about halfway across the board. Again she looked around in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.

Every morning for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's being larger than the previous one, and each being rubbed off vigorously.

At the end of the second week, she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board but instead found the words: "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets."