Rudolph Jokes / Recent Jokes

Christmas was over. Santa and his reindeer finally had a chance to rest. And they deserved it. They had done a good job. Rudolph had a chance to do something he had wanted to do for a long time. He made an appointment with a plastic surgeon because he was so sensitive about his looks.
However it wasn't his glowing proboscis that he wanted changed. He was proud of his
nose and the help he had given Santa because of it. No, he was sensitive about his long ears which were much more prominent than the ears of the average reindeer, or bear for that matter.
So one week after Christmas, he let the good doctor do the pinna reconstructive surgery procedure, and since that time, January 1st has been celebrated as. .. New Ears Day.

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. ..
Translation: Rudolph was a four-hooved ungulate, Original: Had a very shiny nose. ..
Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed a nasal appendage of a maroon lustre. Original: And if you ever saw him. ..
Translation: Consequently, if circumstances were to present themselves that he ever came into your view, Original: You would even say it glows. ..
Translation: You would most undoubtedly remark at to its illuminary qualities. Original: All of the other reindeer. ..
Translation: The multitude of other members of the population in his ecological community, Original: Used to laugh and call him names. ..
Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms - the objective of which was to lower his self-esteem and make him miserable. Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games. ..
Translation: They also excluded him from participation in leisure more...

RUDOLPH'S NIGHT OFF
by Baxter Black
"Twas the night before Christmas and Rudolph was lame!
The vet from the North Pole said, "Footrot's to blame
I'll give him some sulfa, it's the best I can do
But stall rest is needed the next week or two."
"Great Scott!" cried old Santy, he turned with a jerk.
I won't git through Pierre if my headlight don't work!
On Interstate 40 I'll surely get fined
And lost in Montana if I'm flying blind!"
"No cop in his right mind would give any clout
To a geezer who claimed that his reindeer went out!"
He gathered the others, ol' Donner and Blitzen.
Were any among 'em whose nose was tranmitzen?
They grunted and strained and made sure made a mess
But no noses glowed brightly or ears luminesced.
"It's bad luck in bunches," cried Santy, distressed.
"We'll fly Continental, the Red Eye express!
"I'll just check the schedule," he more...

Yesterday I visited a translation website and translated some Christmas carols into other languages, then back into English. The results as follows:
Jingleglocken, jingleglocken, jingle completely.
Oh which fun it is to ride into a horse-opened sleigh.
("Jingle Bells," translated into German and then back into English)
Ring of sleighbells, are you listening?
In the track the snow is shining.
A beautiful vista, we are tonight happy,
Walking in the country of the wonders of the winter.
("Winter Wonderland," Spanish)
Icily Snowman a lucky merry soul
With one was formed from a key corncob,
And the nose and two eyes, those from coal.
("Frosty the Snowman," German)
Rudolph the red-nose reindeer has had a nose a lot polishes,
And if you never saw it, you would even say that she emits light.
("Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," Italian)
You would improve the clock towards the more...

RUDOLPH'S NIGHT OFF
by Baxter Black
"Twas the night before Christmas and Rudolph was lame!
The vet from the North Pole said, "Footrot's to blame
I'll give him some sulfa, it's the best I can do
But stall rest is needed the next week or two."
"Great Scott!" cried old Santy, he turned with a jerk.
I won't git through Pierre if my headlight don't work!
On Interstate 40 I'll surely get fined
And lost in Montana if I'm flying blind!"
"No cop in his right mind would give any clout
To a geezer who claimed that his reindeer went out!"
He gathered the others, ol' Donner and Blitzen.
Were any among' em whose nose was tranmitzen?
They grunted and strained and made sure made a mess
But no noses glowed brightly or ears luminesced.
"It's bad luck in bunches," cried Santy, distressed.
"We'll fly Continental, the Red Eye express!
"I'll just check the more...

Christmas was over. Santa and his reindeer finally had a chance to rest. And they deserved it. They had done a good job.
Rudolph had a chance to do something he had wanted to do for a long time. He made an appointment with a plastic surgeon because he was so sensitive about his looks.
However it wasnt his glowing probiscus that he wanted changed. He was proud of his nose and the help he had given Santa because of it. No, he was sensitive about his long ears which were much more prominent than the ears of the average rain deer, or bear for that matter.
So one week after Christmas, he let the good doctor do the pinna reconstructive surgery procedure, and since that time, January 1st has been celebrated as. .. New Ears Day.

CHORUS
Rudolph Got Run Over by my Grandma
just as he arrived on Christmas Day
She had gotten sick and tired of hearin'
that song where she gets trampled by a sleigh.
She'd been listening to the radio
and she nearly lost her breath
yellin' cuss words at the DJ
for playin' that song where she gets hooved to death.
So she set out on the warpath
there was evil in her eye
she said "I'm gonna find that reindeer
and by golly, one of us is gonna die!"
CHORUS
Rudolph Got Run Over by my Grandma
just as he arrived on Christmas Day
She had gotten sick and tired of hearin'
that song where she gets trampled by a sleigh.
Santa Claus had made a landing
on the new expressway
Grandma was doin' 120
with her headlights pointed straight at Santa's sleigh.
' Twas an awful sound of impact
Grandma really nailed him good
There were hoofprints on her windshield
and a pair of more...