Rudolph Jokes / Recent Jokes

(To The Tune Of Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer)
Rudolph the red nosed wino,
Had a very shiny nose,
And if you got too close to him,
He would take off his clothes.
All of the other winos,
Used to laugh and call him names,
They never let poor Rudolph,
Join in any wino games.
Then one chilly Christmas Eve,
Rudolph froze to death in an alley.
End of story.

(To The Tune Of Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer)
Rudolph the red nosed wino,
Had a very shiny nose,
And if you got too close to him,
He would take off his clothes.
All of the other winos,
Used to laugh and call him names,
They never let poor Rudolph,
Join in any wino games.
Then one chilly Christmas Eve,
Rudolph froze to death in an alley.
End of story.

Yesterday I visited a translation website and translated some Christmas
carols into other languages, then back into English. The results as follows:

Jingleglocken, jingleglocken, jingle completely.
Oh which fun it is to ride into a horse-opened sleigh.
("Jingle Bells, translated into German and then back into English)

Ring of sleighbells, are you listening?
In the track the snow is shining.
A beautiful vista, we are tonight happy,
Walking in the country of the wonders of the winter.
("Winter Wonderland, Spanish)

Icily Snowman a lucky merry soul
With one was formed from a key corncob,
And the nose and two eyes, those from coal.
("Frosty the Snowman, German)

Rudolph the red-nose reindeer has had a nose a lot polishes,
And if you never saw it, you would even say that she emits light.
("Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Italian)

You would improve the clock more...

A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he answered and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

Yesterday I visited a translation website and translated some Christmas carols into other languages, then back into English. The results as follows:
Jingleglocken, jingleglocken, jingle completely.
Oh which fun it is to ride into a horse-opened sleigh.
("Jingle Bells," translated into German and then back into English)
Ring of sleighbells, are you listening?
In the track the snow is shining.
A beautiful vista, we are tonight happy,
Walking in the country of the wonders of the winter.
("Winter Wonderland," Spanish)
Icily Snowman a lucky merry soul
With one was formed from a key corncob,
And the nose and two eyes, those from coal.
("Frosty the Snowman," German)
Rudolph the red-nose reindeer has had a nose a lot polishes,
And if you never saw it, you would even say that she emits light.
("Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," Italian)
You would improve the clock towards the outside,
You more...

On a famous TV game show A BLONDE contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and ONE MILLION DOLLARS! "To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The contestant, gave a sigh of relief, gratified that she had drawn such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and,. .. Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain...' Olive?!?'". "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."

To get us all in the Christmas spirit... Can you name these Christmas Songs? Answers found below.
-- Questions ---
Approach Everyone Who Is Steadfast
Ecstacy Toward The Orb
Hush, The Foretelling Spirits Harmonize
Hey, Miniscule Urban Area Southwest Of Jerusalem
Quiescent Nocturnal Period
The Autocratic Troika Originating Near the Accent of Apollo
The Primary Carol
Embellish The Corridors
I Apprehended My Maternal Parent Osculating with a Corpulent, Unshaven Male in Crimson Disguise
I'm Fantasizing Concerning a Blanched Yuletide
My Singular Desire For The Impending Yuletide Season Is Receipt Of A Pair Of Central Incisors.
During the Time Ovine Caretakers Supervised Their Charges Past Twilight
Celestial Messengers From Splendid Empires.
The Thing Manifest Itself at the Onset of a Transparent Day
The Tatterdemalion Ebony Atmosphere
The Coniferous Nativity
What Offspring Abides Thus?
Removed in a Bovine Feeding more...