Rugby Jokes

It takes leather balls to play rugby.

Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?"

Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."

To the citizens of the United States of America: In light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97. 85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. more...

TOP TEN RESONS TO BE A NEW ZEALANDER
1 RUGBY
2 YOU PLAY RUGBY AND HAVE YOUR HEAD BETWEEN TO OTHER PLAYERS ARSES AND STILL THINK YOU ARE NOT GAY
3 STILL PLAYING RUGBY KEEP LIFTING PLAYER FROM CRUTCH OF THERE LEGS WITH YOUR HANDS AND STILL THINK THAT YOU ARE NOT GAY
4 IF YOU ARE THE INDIGENOUS NATIVE YOU CAN WELCOM VISITOR'S BY SHOWING YOUR ARSE TO THEM
5 AFTER SHOWING YOUR ARSE YOU CAN RUB YOUR RUNNY NOSE ON THER NOSE.
6 YOU CAN BE THE WOMEN PRIME MINISTER AND STILL ONLY WEAR MALE PANTS TO EVERY PLACE YOU GO.
7 CAN BE THE SHEEP SHEARING CHAMPION OF THE WORLD
8 CAN BE THE GUM BOOT THROWING CHAMPION OF THE WORLD
9 THINK THREE COURSE MEAL IS BREAD BUTTER AND JAM
10 IF YOU CAN BE RELATED TO THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLE OF THE COUNTRY WITH GOVERNEMENT ASSISTENCE YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK EVER.

Johnny Raper, the legnedary StGeorge player from the 1950s and 1960s passed away. The Rugby League World was in mourning. This was a bad day for Rugby League and Australian Sport.
While the StGeorge fans and others mourned, Johnny was being transported up to the Gates of Heaven, where he as greeted by a man.
"Hell Mr Raper! You are a legend. You were one of the immortals - a legend in your own lifetime. I watched you and you will have no problems getting through this gate."
"Gee Thanks" Johnny replied.
"I do have to ask you, if there is anything you should tell me, which would prevent you from passing through these gates?"
"Well..... in one of those Grand Finals out of the 11 in a row we won, there was a forward pass I threw to send one of out players in for the winning try"
The Man at the Gates laughed.
"No. I had a very close look at that, it was fair and square."
"Really, I know it was a more...