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Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5. 0 to Husband 1. 0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software; severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5. 0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Husband 1. 0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7. 5, CruiseShip 2. 3, and OperaNight 6. 1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1. 3, SaturdayFootball 5. 0, Golf 2. 4 and ClutterEverywhere 4. 5. Conversation 8. 0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14. 1 or HouseCleaning 2. 6.
I've tried running Nagging 5. 3 to fix Husband 1. 0, but this is all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!!!
Dear Jane:
This is a very common problem women more...
A few months ago, I upgraded from DrinkingMates 4. 2 to Girlfriend 1. 0…
… which I had been told for years wouldn’t give me any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try to run Girlfriend 1. 0 with the sound turned off.
To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1. 0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3. 1, Football 4. 5, and Playboy 6. 9. Successive versions of Girlfriend 1. 0 (i. e. 1. 001 thru 1. 999) proved no better!
I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2. 1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually, I tried to run the new Girlfriend 1. 2 and Girlfriend 1. 0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.
I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1. 0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded more...
The world would run a lot smoother if more men knew how to dance.
Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 6. 0 to Wife 1. 0 and found
that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other
applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1. 0 also is spawning
Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.
No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product
brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that
this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that,
Wife 1. 0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system
initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding
that some applications such as PokerNight 10. 3, BeerBash 2. 5, and
PubNight 7. 0 are no longer able to run, crashing the system when selected
(even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1. 0
automatically installs undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55. 8 more...
Two lawyers took a long safari vacation in the African Bush. One day, they took a rest, removed their packs, and leaned their rifles against a tree. They were startled when a large, hungry-looking lion emerged from the jungle and began eyeing them with anticipation. It was clear that the lawyers' rifles were too far away to do them any good. One lawyer began to remove his shoes, and was asked by the other why he was doing that. The man replied, "Because I can run faster without them." The first lawyer told him, "I don't care how fast you can run, you'll never outrace that lion." The now-barefoot man told him, "I don't have to outrun the lion. I just have to outrun you."
A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring run....run! The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"
A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!" The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up yelling "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused.
A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whisper, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls."
After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man!"
THE LIFE OF A COMPUTER ANALYST (Long but VERY Funny!) Monday ------ 8: 05am User called to say they forgot password. Told them to use password retrieval utility called FDISK. Blissfully ignorant, they thank me and hang up. God, we let these people vote and drive, too? 8: 12am Accounting called to say they couldn't access expense reports database. Gave them Standard Sys Admin Answer #112, "Well, it works for me." Let them rant and rave while I unplugged my coffeemaker from the UPS and plugged their server back in. Suggested they try it again. One more happy customer... 8: 14 am User from 8: 05 call said they received error message "Error accessing Drive 0." Told them it was an OS problem. Transferred them to microsupport. 11: 00 am Relatively quiet for last few hours. Decide to plug support phone back in so I can call my girlfriend. Says parents are coming into town this weekend. Put her on hold and transferred her to janitorial closet down in basement. What is she more...