Run Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me,
See if they can do it again.
2. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me,
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
3. For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
4. For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me,
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
5. For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me,
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
6. For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me,
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it more...

GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER
by Irish Rovers (1986?)
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.
When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.
Grandma go run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.
It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's more...

A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country, and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring, "Run.... run!"
The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent, "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"
A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams, "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"
The next batter holds his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk. The Scotsman stands up yelling: "R-r-run ya Bahstard, r-r-run!"
All the surrounding fans chuckle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whispers, "He doesn't have to run, he got four balls."
The Scotsman yells even louder, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!"

Pappu blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother, Jeeto, tells him to stop it as he`s liable to break something.
He continues. "Pappu!" Jeeto screams. "Knock it off. You`re going to break something."
He stops and eventually she leaves for a short trip to the store. Pappu starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet.
Jeeto comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.
When she`s finished she looks down and can`t believe what she`s seeing. Diarrhea everywhere! She`s not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor.
The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he`ll be over shortly to examine everything.
When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a more...

Attract girls by being busy
When a girl asks you what you did yesterday, never say, "Oh, I just sat around and was bored." Better to say, "I was up early to run errands and take care of business, then played tennis, met a friend for lunch, and worked in the afternoon." Lie if you have to. And don't worry, you'll get used to it:)
If a girl calls and asks what you are doing, reply with, "I just walked in the door" or "I'm just on my way out to take care of business."
Don't hang on the the phone for hours talking to girls indicating you don't have anything else to do. Get the business of the call over, be pleasant, then excuse yourself.
By not calling a girl every night or contacting her every day, you show that you are busy and have other things that are important in your life besides her. This lets her know that she is going to have to compete for your time.
If you run into someone, be pleasant and friendly. Show that more...

A Teacher Was Giving A Lesson On The Circulation Of The Blood. Trying To Make The Matter Clearer, He Said: "Now, Students, If I Stood On My Head, The Blood, Would Run Into It, And I Should Turn Red In The Face."
"Yes, Sir," The Boys Said.
"Then Why Is It That While I Am Standing Upright In The Ordinary Position The Blood Doesn't Run Into My Feet?"

A woman's husband has died. After a few months, she decides she wants a new one. She submits a classified ad as follows:"Widow looking for a new husband. To be considered, you must conform to these three criteria: 1 - You can't beat me (as my first husband did). 2 - You can't run around on me (as my first husband did). 3 - You MUST be good in bed (as my first husband wasn't)." A few days later, the doorbell rings. She opens the door and a man without any arms and or legs is sitting in a wheel chair." Can I help you?" she says." I'm here about your ad in the paper." "Which ad is that?" "The one looking for a husband." She says, "Uhm, well, there were certain criteria...""Yes, I know. Obviously, I could never beat you... I have no arms." "Well, yes, I see that... but there were other criteria." "And, as you can see, I could never run around on you... I have no legs." "Well, yes, that's true... more...