Rural Jokes / Recent Jokes
In a small town in the rural south, poor, fun-loving, good-ole'-boy
Billy Bob died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad, and the morgue needed
someone to identify the body. So, his two buddies, Jimmy Lee and Donnie Ray,
went down to the morgue.
Jimmy Lee went in first, and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Jimmy Lee said "Yep, he's burnt so bad, I can't tell from the front. Roll him over."
So the mortician rolled him over. Jimmy Lee took one look at his ass and
said "Hell no, that ain't Billy Bob."
The mortician didn't say anything but thought that was kind of
strange. Then he brought in Donnie Ray to identify. the body. Donnie Ray took a look at him and said "Yup, he's burnt real bad, rollhim over."
The mortician rolled him over. Donnie Ray looked down at his ass and said
"No, that ain't Billy Bob."
The mortician said "How can you tell?" Donnie Ray said "Well, Billy Bob had two more...
A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road. "I can't stand this," said the man tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?" "Well, we work for the county government, " one of the men said. "But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Are n't you wasting the county's money?" "You don't understand, more...
Minister for Industries, another for Rural Industries, and yet
another for Small Industries: -): -): -)
SL has geared up for massive development. You can see from the no of ministries the amount of development that is going to take place in the next 6 years.
1. There are two ministers to look after the people who do nothing.
2. There is a minister for Transport and minister for High ways. I never knew that Highways were not used for transport. They could created another minitry for railways.
3. You have a fisheries minister and another minister to looking to the fisheries housing. May be they are planning to implement a Work from home policy for the fishermen.
4. One minister for Mahaweli development and another for irrigation and another for power and energy. Who will look into
the resevoirs which do all three functions. I guess it will be all.
5. There is a minister the Tamils in the North and east what about the Tamils in more...
Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President`s staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to surround the man`s tractor."Sir," the senior Secret Service agent asked, panting and out of breath."Did you see this terrible accident happen?""Yep. Sure did." The man muttered unconcernedly."Do you realize that is the President of the United States airplane?""Yep.""Were there any survivors?" the agent gasped."Nope. They`s all kilt straight out." The farmer sighed cutting off his tractor motor. more...
A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day he called the sheriffs office and said, "Youve got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens.""What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff."I dont care, just do something about those drivers!"So the next day he had the county workers go out and erect a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSINGThree days later the farmer called the sheriff and said, "Youve got to do something about these drivers. The school crossing sign seems to make them go faster."So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAYAnd that really sped them up. So the f armer called and called and called everyday for three weeks. Finally, he asked the more...