Russia Jokes / Recent Jokes

The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer. On the final day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, As your stay is coming to an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded--you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger. This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers. Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief. The African ambassador was much impressed with the couragous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year. When the visit came, the more...

Numerous people fell ill in Russia yesterday from cheap vodka laced with a toxic medical disinfectant. The vodka turned many people's skin and eyes a shade of yellow. Since the story broke multiple cases of the brand have been ordered by frat houses here in the states.

During his recent visit to the UK Mikhail Gorbachev was taken on a tour of
a typical British factory by the Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher.
The tour started at 9:00 am and the factory was just starting to fill with
employees...
GORBY: "What these people do?"
MAGGIE: "Oh, they are just starting work!"
GORBY: "AAAARRggghhh! In Russia, start at 5:00 am"
So, they walk around for a while, viewing some machinery and at 10:30 a hooter
sounds and the factory workers leave.
G: "Where they go?"
M: "Oh, it is morning tea time. They have a break for 20 minutes."
G: "AAAArrrggghhhh! In Russia, no morning tea."
At 12:00 noon the two VIP's are viewing plans for a new factory and a hooter
sounds and the factory workers leave, again.
G: "Where they go now?"
M: "Oh, it is lunch time. They take a break for an hour."
G: "AAAArrrggghhhh! One hour. In Russia, is more...

In a Kremlin courtyard last week, Russian president Vladimir Putin lifted up a young boy's shirt and kissed him on his bare stomach in front of a large crowd.
"He seemed to me very independent, very serious, but at the same time a boy is always vulnerable. He was very sweet. I'll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten," Putin said, smiling.
Moscow residents seemed to find this explanation sufficient.
In response, Michael Jackson immediately packed his bags, denounced Rocky IV and remastered Thriller in Russian.