Rye Jokes / Recent Jokes
Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greets her at the Pearly Gates."Are you hungry, Mother Teresa?" says God. "I could eat," Mother Teresa replies. So God opens a can of tuna and reaches for a chunk of rye bread and they share it. While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looks down into Hell and sees the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries and wines. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remains quiet. The next day God again invites her to join Him for a meal. Again, it is tuna and rye bread. Once again, Mother Teresa can see the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates. Still she says nothing. The following day, mealtime arrives and another can of tuna is opened. She can't contain herself any longer. Meekly, she says: "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with You as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread, and in the more...
A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall:
$500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER!
When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant dung on rye.
She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where all hell breaks loose!
The restaurant owner comes storming out of the kitchen. He runs up to the customer's table, slaps five $100 bills down on it and says, -
"You got me that time buddy, but I want you to know that's the first time in ten years we've been out of rye bread!"
Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greeted her at the Pearly Gates. "Be thou hungry, Mother Teresa?" asked God. "I could eat," Mother Teresa replied. So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of rye bread and they began to share it. While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, and pastries. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remained quiet. The next day God again invited her to join him for a meal. Again, it was tuna and rye bread. Once again, Mother Teresa could see the denizens of Hell enjoying lamb, turkey, venison, and delicious desserts. Still she said nothing. The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. She couldn't contain herself any longer. Meekly, she asked, "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread more...
Two men in their 80's are talking in the park. The first one looks at his watch and says, "I must go now, it's time to meet my wife for sex."
The other man says, "We're in our 80's now -- how do you still manage to get it hard?"
" By eating a lot of Rye bread," comes the reply. "That makes it hard as a rock."
The man has to try it and goes to the bakery. He asks the girl for ten loaves of rye bread. The girl asks if it's for a party and he replies, " No, it's all for me."
The girl says, "All for you, it's going to get hard."
The man replies, "Everybody knows about it but me! !!!"
A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall:$500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER! When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant dung on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where all hell breaks loose! The restaurant owner comes storming out of the kitchen. He runs up to the customer's table, slaps five $100 bills down on it and says, -"You got me that time buddy, but I want you to know that's the first time in ten years we've been out of rye bread!"