Sacrifice Jokes / Recent Jokes

Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.
As a group, they decided that one of the party should let go. Otherwise, the rope would break and everyone would perish.
For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.
Finally, the brunette gave a truly touching speech, saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.
The ten blondes applauded...

Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon: a Patriots fan, a Falcons fan, an Eagles fan, and a Steelers fan. They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them was the most "die-hard" fan.
Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Patriots fan proclaimed to the other three... "This is for the New England Patriots!" and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice.
Not to be outdone by a Patriots fan, the Falcons fan jumped up and said... "This is for the Atlanta Falcons!" and then threw himself off the mountain, again as a form of sacrifice.
Refusing to be outdone by the Patriots and Falcons fans, the Steelers fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs, "This is for the Pittsburgh Steelers!" and without hesitation, pushed the Philadelphia Eagles fan off the mountain.

Bible scholars have long wondered how old Isaac was when his father
Abraham took him up to the mountain top to offer him as a sacrifice.
Through careful study of the story as related in the Old Testament,
based on the following facts:
Issac was old enough to understand the ritual of sacrifice,
Issac was old enough to carry wood for the fire to the top of the
mountain,
Issac was old enough to notice that they were not bringing an animal
for the sacrifice.
Therefore Issac's age, at this time, was greater than 8 years old.
Scholars also conclude that he was younger than 12 years old as
supported by the following fact:
If Issac had been older than twelve, he would have been a
teenager and it would not have been a sacrifice.

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny.
So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay more...

After a bizarre cliff side accident, all eleven members of the women's outing found themselves hanging perilously from a rope over the edge of the cliff. Ten of the women were blondes and one was a brunette. After dangling there for a only a short while it became obvious that the rope would not hold all their collective weight. They decided that to prevent the rope snapping and killing them all, one of them must sacrifice themselves and let go, to save the others.
Well they talked about it for a while but no-one could decide a fair way of of choosing who should jump. Finally, the brunette, exasperated by the indecisiveness of the blondes, could see that if nobody acted soon the rope was going to snap.
To save the others she bravely decided that it must be her who made the sacrifice. She plucked up a little courage and told the others that she would jump to save them.
After giving a short but very moving speech that she hoped would be remembered after she'd gone, the more...