Saddam Jokes / Recent Jokes

Saddam got his last wish: a spot on myspace. His webpage is linked to a youtube video of his own hanging.

His page's headline reads: "I'm the real weapon of mass destruction. America won this round, but I'll win the game."

A plane was shot down over Iraq and Saddam Hussain captured a Scotsman, an Englishman and an Australian. Saddam says, "I`m not as cruel as George Bush says I am. You will be given 50 lashes each, but you can have whatever you want on your back." The Australian goes first, and asks for the finest Kangaroo hide there is to cover his back. This is granted and he receives the kangaroo hide before he receives 50 lashes. His back is all torn and bleeding but he survives. The Englishman says, "I will take it as it comes, I will have nothing on my back and will be proud to bear the scars" he shouts defiantly "Stiff upper lip you know eh what." His wish is granted and he receives his 50 lashes, his back torn and bleeding, his ribs fractured and protruding, a terrible mess to behold. "Now Wee Hughie, it`s your turn, you have the same choice as the other two, what would you like on your back" says Saddam. Wee Hughie replies quickly and without hesitation, more...

Saddam HUSSEIN of Iraq wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality. The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearingcomplaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and becomefurious. He called the chief of the Secret Service and orderedhim to investigate the matter. The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, andthen reported on the problem to him. He said:" Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"

Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner." "What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah." Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner." "What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."

What might've happened:
Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair.
They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face.
Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes more...

What might've happened:Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair.They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face.Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs.A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United more...

One day Saddam Hussein was walking in the desert and he stubbed his
toe on some hard object. He bent over to pick it up and a Genie popped
out.
"Oh great," Saddam said, "I don't have time for this Genie nonsense."
"Oh wait," said the Genie, "You have to let me grant you three wishes
or I'll be trapped in that stupid lamp for another ten thousand
years."
"Ok" said Saddam, so he wished that the Genie would give him three
American women.
So the next morning when he woke up, after the Genie had realized who
this man was and after the Genie had granted the wishes, Tanya
Harding, Garcella Bevoux, and Hillary Clinton layed next to him. His
knee was bashed in, his penis was gone, and he had no health
insurance.