Saddam Jokes / Recent Jokes
What an ignorant twat Ive just rang Saddam Hussein to wish him a Happy New Year and hes hung up!
Q: What's the national bird of Iraq?
A: DUCK!
Q: What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
A: You shout out, "B-52"
The latest from Saudi Arabia and Baghdad is that:
Americans claim they have air superiority over Iraq.
Iraqis claim they have air superiority over Iran.
Q: Why doesn't Saddam go out drinking?
A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home?
Q: What does Saddam Hussein have in common with Fred Flinstone?
A: They both can look out of their window and see rubble!
Q: Have you heard about the new Royal Iraqi Air Force exercise program?
A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.
Q: What should Iraq get for its air defense system?
A: A refund.
Q: Who is an Iraqi Hero?
A: He's the one that waited thirty seconds before he surrendered.
Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common? A. Nothing, yet. Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving? A: Turkey. Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? A: They both have Kurds in their Whey. Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common? A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from! Q: What is the best Iraqi job? A: Foreign AmbassadorQ: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. They can't turn them on anyway. Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $8, 000, 000. Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?" A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time." Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off. Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo? A: B-52... more...
President Clinton and Saddam Hussein were having a meeting in Baghdad to discuss a recent crisis.
Halfway through the meeting, Hussein hit a button on his armrest, a fake arm flew out and struck Clinton in the face. A short while later, Hussein hit another button and Clinton ducked, only to be kicked in the butt. Some minutes later, this happened again. An angry Clinton called a break and the two decided to meet again later, this time in Washington.
Hussein arrived in Washington and the two sat down in Clinton's office to resume their meeting. A few minutes into the discussions, Clinton hit a button and Hussein ducked, but nothing happened. Minutes later, Clinton hit another button and Hussein ducked, but again nothing happened.
When this happened a third time, an angry and paranoid Hussein jumped up and yelled, "Enough of this! I am returning to Baghdad immediately!"
Looking at Hussein with a sly smirk, Clinton calmed replied, "What Baghdad?"
MONDAYS:
8:00 - "Husseinfeld"
8:30- "Mad About Everything"
9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
9:30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
10:00 - "Allah McBeal"
TUESDAYS:
8:00 - "Wheel of Fortune and Terror"
8:30 - "The Price is Right If Saddam Says It's Right"
9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"
9:30 - "Iraq's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
10:00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"
WEDNESDAYS:
8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
8:30 - "When Kurds Attack"
9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Fatwah"
9:30 - "Just Shoot Me"
10:00 - "Veilwatch"
THURSDAYS:
8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"
8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
9:00 - "Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless more...
Saddam and an American were in the bathroom peeing in the urinals. When the American was done, he was going to leave without washing his hands.
Saddam said, "You know, I learned to wash my hands."
The American replied, "Well, I learned not to pee on my hands."
Q: What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing... yet.
Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?
A: Turkey.
Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?
A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.
Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What is the best Iraqi job?
A: Foreign Ambassador
Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.
Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of $800,000.
Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A: You only have to teach more...