Sadly Jokes

A man, carrying a very limp dog, entered the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the vet took out his stethoscope and placed the receptor on the dog's chest.
He listened for a moment or two, shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but your dog has passed away."
"What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't even done any tests on him. I demand a second opinion!"
With that, the vet turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to work and checked the poor dead dog out thoroughly. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook its head and barked.
The vet then took the dog out and returned a few moments later with a cat, who also checked out the poor dog on the table.
As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook its head, meowed, jumped off the table and ran out of the room.
The vet handed the man a bill for $650. The more...

Compiled by Harold Reynolds and updated on December 6, 1994

1. Introduction

The following is a manual of guidelines for the busy cat(s) who will have a house to manage after adopting one or more humans. It is, of course, impossible to cover all possible situations, as those humans are always up to some sort of mischief, but the compiler and contributors to this guide have endeavoured to cover as wide a variety of topics as possible. It is important that this document be kept out of the hands of humans, who will undoubtedly find a way to use it to their advantage.

2. Food

In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed now; and hunting for it oneself. The following are some guidelines for getting fed.

a) When the humans are eating, make sure more...

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
Vincent: One dollar
Teacher (sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
Vincent (sadly): You don't know my father.

Sadly, after just a short period, Elton Johns marriage is over. he caught his husband having sex behind his back !!

One Time The Saddam Husain Died And Went To God And Wished That When He Will See Iraq Defeat America. The God Said You Cannot
See It In Your Life. So He Go Sadly Go. Next Day The Saurav Ganguly Died And Came To God And Wished When Will I See Australia
Would Defeat. The God Said That You Will Not See It In Your Life. So He Also Sadly Go. Next Day The Lalu Ji Died And Came To
The God And Wished When I Will See The Bihar A Rich State. The God Said I Cannot See It In My Life.