Sadly Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man, carrying a very limp dog, entered the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the vet took out his stethoscope and placed the receptor on the dog's chest.
He listened for a moment or two, shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but your dog has passed away."
"What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't even done any tests on him. I demand a second opinion!"
With that, the vet turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to work and checked the poor dead dog out thoroughly. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook its head and barked.
The vet then took the dog out and returned a few moments later with a cat, who also checked out the poor dog on the table.
As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook its head, meowed, jumped off the table and ran out of the room.
The vet handed the man a bill for $650. The more...

Everyone in the smart night club was amazed by the old gentleman, obviously pushing seventy, tossing off Manhattans and cavorting around the dance floor like a twenty year old. Finally, curiosity got the best of the cigarette girl.
"I beg your pardon, sir," she said, "but I'm amazed to see a gentleman of your age living it up like a youngster. Tell me, are all of your faculties unimpaired?"
The old fellow looked up at the girl sadly and shook his head. "Not all, I'm afraid," he said. "Just last evening I went nightclubbing with a girlfriend-we drank and danced all night and finally rolled into her place about two A. M. We went to bed immediately and I was asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. I woke around three-thirty and nudged my girl.' Why George,' she said in surprise,' we did that just fifteen minutes ago.'
"So you see," the old boy said sadly, "my memory is beginning to fail me."

One Time The Saddam Husain Died And Went To God And Wished That When He Will See Iraq Defeat America. The God Said You Cannot
See It In Your Life. So He Go Sadly Go. Next Day The Saurav Ganguly Died And Came To God And Wished When Will I See Australia
Would Defeat. The God Said That You Will Not See It In Your Life. So He Also Sadly Go. Next Day The Lalu Ji Died And Came To
The God And Wished When I Will See The Bihar A Rich State. The God Said I Cannot See It In My Life.

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
Vincent: One dollar
Teacher (sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
Vincent (sadly): You don't know my father.

Sadly, after just a short period, Elton Johns marriage is over. he caught his husband having sex behind his back !!