Sales Jokes / Recent Jokes

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?"

The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart.

Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this?"

The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil?"

The boss called one of his employees into the office. "Rob," he said, "youve been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. "Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice-chairman. Now its time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company. "What do you say to that?" "Thanks," said the employee. "Thanks?" the boss replied. "Is that all you can say?" "I suppose not," the employee said. "Thanks, Dad."

A woman, getting married for the fourth time, goes to a Bridal Shop and asks for a white dress.
"You can't wear white." Reminds the sales clerk, "You've been married three times already."
"Of course I can, I'm a Virgin." Says the Bride
"Impossible" says the sales clerk.
"Unfortunately not." The Bride explained:
"My first husband was a Psychologist, all he wanted to do was talk about it. My second husband was a Gynecologist, all he wanted to do was look at it. My third husband was a stamp collector, God I miss him."

A woman ordered a new stove from a retailer. However, the stove was delivered while the woman was at work one day.

When the woman got home, she noticed that the new stove had been installed and her old stove was missing. She frantically called the retailer and asked, "Where is my old stove?"

The retailer replied that she just had a new one delivered to her. The woman asked again "Where is my old stove?"

The retailer replied. "Your new stove has all the latest features" and he proceeded to list them all.

The woman interrupted "Where is my old stove?"

The retailer concerned and bewildered asked the woman why she wanted to know where her old stove was.

The woman replied in anguish " My dinner is in the oven!"

A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesman's company and related the tragedy to the sales manager.

The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, "Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders."

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advisednew recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than asking him about this, the Captain stood at the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you are killed in a battle and have a GI Insurance, thegovernment has to pay $200, 000 to your beneficiaries. But, if you don'thave a GI insurance and get killed in the battle, the government onlyhas to pay a maximum of $6000." "Now," he concluded, "which group do YOU think they are going to sendinto battle first?"

A woman, getting married for the fourth time, goes to a Bridal Shop and asks for a white dress.
"You can't wear white," reminds the sales clerk, "you've been married three times already."
"Of course I can, I'm a virgin." Says the Bride
"Impossible!" says the sales clerk.
"Unfortunately not." The Bride explained; "My first husband was a psychologist, all he wanted to do was talk about it.
"My second husband was a Gynaecologist, all he wanted to do was look at it.
"My third husband was a stamp collector... God, I miss him."