Salesman Jokes / Recent Jokes
A salesman was travelling between towns and got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. Checking the spare, he found that it was flat, too. His only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the nearest town.
The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a pickup truck. He yelled out the window to the salesman "Need a lift?"
"Yes, I do", replied the salesman.
"You a Democrat or Republican?", asked the old man.
"A Republican", replied the salesman.
"Get screwed!", yelled the old man as he sped off.
The next to stop rolled down the window and asked the same question, to which the salesman gave the same answer "Republican."
The driver gave him the finger and drove off.
The salesman thought it over, and decided that maybe he should change his approach, since there appeared to be few Republicans in this area.
The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde. more...
Little Johnny A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "little boy is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "what do you think?"
Salesman: This jug is genuine Indian pottery. Customer: But it says "Made in Cleveland."Salesman: Havent you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?
He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains." The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing. Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman asked what size curtains he needed. Santa replies, "Fifteen inches." "Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?" Santa tells him that they aren`t for a room, they are for his computer monitor. The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!" Santa says, "Hellllooooooooo........ I`ve got Windows!"
Q: What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
A: The car salesman knows when he's lying to you.
A salesman, and engineer, and a technician are driving in a car when, just outside of town, they get a flat tire. The three of them get out of the car and scratch their heads.
The salesman says, "Maybe I should walk into town and get us a new tire. I know that I can bargain with the man at the parts store and get us a great deal."
The engineer stops him, saying, "No, before you do that, we'll have to do some computations, figuring the grade of the road, the asphalt temperature, and the average rate of speed we will be traveling to know what kind of tire you should buy."
The technician laughs and shakes his head. "No, no, no! What's wrong with you guys? Hell, we have a spare tire in the trunk - now all we have to do is start swapping tires until we find the flat one!"
A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman.
Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role.
"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."